Some Washingtonians understand Father's Day better than others
By Sen. Jim Kastama
One day every year, Father's Day comes along to remind us to reflect on the unique roles our fathers have played in our lives.
It's a role that can't be overstated. I don't know how I'd have turned out without the examples and wisdom I received from my father, but I'm certain I'd be much less able to cope with life's challenges and much less able to help others. So many lessons he taught me guide me to this day.
Sadly, many men and women never know that rich and irreplaceable resource, or know it for too short a time. Though our nation boasts more than 66.5 million fathers according to the latest census figures, including 28 million with children under the age of 18, a statistical majority of those fathers will not have any contact with their children on Father's Day. Nationally, according to the Health and Human Services Administration for Children, 40 percent of fathers across America have had no contact with their children in the past year.
That's sad -- and tragic. To make things worse, our state clings to an outdated custody system that discourages children's access to two loving parents. At a time when the number of single-parent children is steadily growing, our state statutes discourage joint custody or shared parenting.
The costs are monumental. Heartbreak and emotional anguish are only the beginnings of the pain. Study after study shows that children in joint custodial arrangements fare far better than those in single custody not just during childhood but throughout their adult lives, with better emotional, educational and financial outcomes.
Though our state has a progressive reputation, our parenting policy is anything but. Compare Washington's "every other weekend" visitation schedule for divorced fathers to that of 28 other states that encourage "frequent and continuing contact" with both parents. Eight states even have guidelines that give parents substantially equal time with children following a divorce or separation.
Why, then, does Washington disregard the research and strides made by other states? Every year for the past 10 years I have introduced shared parenting legislation, and every year that legislation has been killed. Most of the resistance comes from special interest groups inflexibly opposed to even the modest increase of time proposed by my shared parenting bills, which would boost non-custodial parents' time with their children from approximately 21 percent to 33 percent annually.
This is in no one's best interest. As Karen DeGrow, former president of the National Organization for Women, said: "I urge a presumption of joint custody of the children. Shared parenting is not only fair to men and children, it is the best option for women. ... Most of us have acknowledged that women can do everything that men can do. It is time now for us to acknowledge that men can do everything women can do."
One pivotal Washingtonian understood that as far back as 100 years ago. Sonora Smart Dodd was the 16-year-old eldest child of William and Ellen Victoria Cheek Smart when her mother died during childbirth, leaving William Smart the sole parent of Sonora and five younger brothers, including a newborn.
William Smart's dedication to his children resonated with Sonora, and when she heard of the newly created Mother's Day, she immediately went to the Spokane Ministerial Alliance and proposed the idea of Father's Day, to be celebrated on her father's birthday, June 5. The alliance settled instead on the third Sunday in June due to scheduling realities and kicked off an event that gradually worked its way into acceptance across our nation. To this day, however, few people realize the Father's Day they celebrate each year was the brainstorm of a 16-year-old girl in Spokane who so singularly understood the crucial and lasting role of her father.
Unfortunately, it's a lesson many Washingtonians have yet to learn. But I remain hopeful our state will one day embrace policies that provide more children healthy and lasting relationships with their fathers -- and a reason to truly celebrate Father's Day.
