Just don't let him stop eating

The bigger they are ... You might think the life of a grand champion sumo wrestler would be pretty cushy: all the sushi you can eat, naps after lunch and personal groomers to keep your topknot well oiled.

Turns out, it's a high-pressure life, at least for Asashoryu, who ran afoul of Japan's sumo association by skipping a tourney. Asashoryu is now said to be depressed.

No one wants to see a 326-pound man cry, much less one in a XXXXL thong.

Got milk? An increase in the worldwide demand for milk means only one thing: higher milk prices in the U.S.

So, while shoppers are paying 50 cents a quart in Delhi, India, we're being milked for $1.39 a quart. Contented cows apparently are better paid than holy ones.

Higher, faster, stronger, more litigious. The U.S. Olympic Committee's lawyers have told a guide book author he can't trademark the phrase "Best of the Olympic Peninsula" for his book because it infringes on its Olympic-sized monopoly.

Next on the lawyers' list: Olympic National Park, Mount Olympus (both of them), Olympus cameras, Olympia Beer and Olympia, the state capital.