The Pineapple Express has arrived in town

Pineapple Express. It sounds so pleasant -- bringing to mind warm, tropical weather and a fruity drink with an umbrella in it.

And in fact, that's not far off. However, it turns out "warm tropical weather" translates as "wet enough to drown a duck." And while umbrellas are everywhere, they're getting blown inside-out rather than decorating someone's drink.

If the soggy weather has you down, you might want to turn to today's column about dealing with the holiday blues. The tips are sound. They include suggestions such as getting plenty of exercise and avoiding too much alcohol. We humbly add another suggestion: wear ear plugs when venturing into any retail outlet. An overdose of the Muzak versions of "Rudolph" and "Jingle Bells" can be fatal.

Chimps scored better than college students on a memory test. Scientists say this may be due to the fact that the human brain uses a lot of power for things such as language. But these are college students we're talking about. To make the test fair, the chimp should have been sleep-deprived and nursing a hangover.