Common sense lacking

It's a frat house, not a shooting range. A man was arrested for using a rifle for target practice in the basement of a UW frat house. Might we suggest his punishment include mandatory enrollment in Common Sense 101?

Want a cookie? No? Yeah, we understand. The leftovers of Christmas cookies, fudge and cake are getting to us, too. If you need something a little more fulfilling, you might try some grass-fed beef. And you can enjoy it served as a simple steak dinner. The absence of fancy colored sugars and festive cellophane wrapping should be refreshing right about now.

If you didn't get everything you wanted for Christmas, might we suggest a nice pair of goats? Goats have many useful attributes, including:

Landscaping: Goats are as good as a brush hog. Why not use them to get rid of the blackberries threatening to take over your yard?

Entertainment: Give them something to climb, and they will keep you amused for hours. It's better than reality TV.

Education: Building a fence to contain your goat will strengthen your engineering skills. Because, as the saying goes, if your fence won't hold water, it won't hold a goat.