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You're on notice
Posted
at
12:01 am
by Katie Mayer, Herald staff
TV viewers, rejoice! Presidential candidates, brace yourselves. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert return to the airwaves tonight.
Without their writers, though, “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report” might be much different than fans are accustomed to. Since it could be months before Colbert can put anyone on notice, we thought we’d fill in for him today.
Influenza, you’re on notice. Every year when you visit, you throw messy parties with your germy friends, you make the kids cry, and you force people to waste precious sick days that they need for important trips to the beach in July.
Road work, you’re on notice. Detours, delays, freeway closures — seriously, don’t you ever take a vacation? We’re sure you’d love the smell of Florida’s asphalt in the morning.
1997 Ford Ranger, you’re on notice. Business editor Mike Benbow says you’ve got all sorts of pesky issues, such as a faulty door sensor that sometimes keeps the dome light from turning off. If you wanted to be driven only once a year and waxed with silk cloths, you should have been a Lamborghini.
If you'd like to put someone or something on notice, try out the the Stephen Colbert "On Notice Board" generator. It lets you put a list of things on Colbert's "on notice" board and then save and share the image. You can also look at the last 100 submissions, but beware, some of them are ... salty.
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