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<< Previous   of   Next >>   ADVERTISEMENT   CONTACT THE HERALD Melanie Munk, Features Editor munk@heraldnet.com   Published: Tuesday, February 12, 2008 Caring for our health an act of love By Linda Bryant Smith Herald Columnist It is not often we get to see love in its purest form played out unexpectedly. Yet there it was. A lanky man in work clothes with a hand-printed sign stapled to his ball cap that read "Western Union" unfolded a piece of yellowed paper and announced, "Singing telegram for Nancy." She blushed a bit as he sang in a slightly off-key baritone the words of a vintage love song: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine "You make me happy when skies are gray "You'll never know dear, how much I love you, "Please don't take my sunshine away..." The 20 or so women gathered around the lunch table broke into applause. More than one was heard to mumble, "Wait 'til my husband hears this." He captured a kiss and a hug then left as quickly as he'd appeared in the door of the large hall set up for a day of quilting. We knew it wasn't her birthday or anniversary. So why? Certainly this was not the usual behavior of a man married for 35 years (although there would be many such men who heard this tale before nightfall). Finally, she tried to explain. "The cancer, you know he's had a lot of very aggressive treatments for the cancer. And, well, he can't. … we can't … you know, sex. ... So he does other things." Even as she turned her head away slightly, her's were not the only eyes with tears. Prostate cancer is fairly common among men as they grow older. Several women around that table had already walked this valley, but none had faced with their husbands such a life-threatening situation. Odds are if prostate cancer is caught early, it can be checked, even cured. Six months ago her husband was outwardly healthy, physically active and moving from a successful business career to work developing a tract of land they'd invested in years before. No reason at all to expect that a visit to a health fair at the local hospital, and the routine blood tests they each had, would ultimately lead to more tests and this diagnosis: an aggressive form of prostate cancer that had already moved into his bones. Treatments for this form of prostate cancer must be as aggressive as the cancer they battle. His have been. But any time a man must face down prostate cancer, there is the chance that the treatments, which include chemotherapy, radiation, surgery or a combination of these, can make it difficult if not impossible to have an erection and normal intercourse. Wives know this from the beginning. I did. And what I wanted more than anything was my husband alive, next to me, holding me on cold nights and loving me as he always had. Sex was way down on the list. Staying alive was at the top. My husband received radioactive seed implants and has been cancer-free for five years. That's our miracle. Still, it is not easy to see another couple on a journey that is more difficult and may not have the same outcome. And then that big galoot comes in and delivers a singing telegram bringing smiles to everyone there, especially his wife who has known gray days and longs for sunshine. We all see that love and pray they will have their miracle. With Valentine's Day just a few days away, I believe the best gift we can give to the person we love, is the assurance we are doing everything we can to stay healthy. So if you're over due for a mammogram, a PSA or any other routine health test, think of it as a gift of life and get it done. Flowers and heart-shaped boxes of candy can't come close to the gift of hearing the words, "cancer free." Linda Bryant Smith writes about life as a senior citizen and the issues that concern, annoy and often irritate the heck out of her now that she lives in a world where nothing is ever truly fixed but her income. You can e-mail her at ljbryantsmith@yahoo.com.

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