Beware Romulans bearing wedding gifts

You're not going, Bill, boldly or otherwise: Now that California has legalized same-sex marriage, George Takei, who played Sulu in the original "Star Trek" TV series and movies, plans to marry his partner of 21 years.

Takei has invited most of his former Enterprise shipmates to the wedding, except for William "Capt. Kirk" Shatner, who apparently never got along well with some of the cast.

Ushers have been instructed to set phasers on stun should Shatner try to crash the wedding.

We are not making this up: A federal judge has thrown out a lawsuit against Fox News' "Fox & Friends," saying its hosts should have known better but were not acting maliciously when they reported a parody story as fact.

The judge not only saved Fox the $75,000 that was sought in damages but may have given Fox a fresher slogan than its "Fair and Balanced" tag: "Gullible But Not Malicious."

Captain's hat not included: Attention state agencies, local communities and nonprofits: You get first crack at buying one of four Steel Electric ferries from the state before they go up on eBay.

Bring your checkbook and a bucket; you're gonna need both.

--Jon Bauer, Herald staff