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Lying about Bigfoot? That's a paddlin'
Posted
at
12:01 am
by Jon Bauer
Herald Staff
The truth is in there: Researchers who thawed out a block of ice with what two Georgia men claimed was Bigfoot say the big, hairy body was actually a gorilla suit.
Suspicions were raised before the big thaw because of the Confederate flag ball cap the Sasquatch was wearing.
Talking out of turn? That's a paddlin': A study by Human Rights Watch says 250,000 school kids received corporal punishment last year.
The Buzz, in his younger days, found himself on the business end of a P.E. teacher's paddle more than once, but now has to question the effectiveness of such punishment. Our own painstaking research proves that repeated swats on the rump do not make one less of a smartass.
Statues of limitations: Rocky has his sculpture in Philadelphia. Seattle's J.P. Patches is immortalized in Fremont, and now the Fonz, from the '70s sitcom "Happy Days," is cast in bronze in Milwaukee.
An honor that used to be reserved for military heroes and political leaders is now bestowed on fictional boxers, TV clowns and leather-clad greasers. How far down the list could newspaper column writers be?
--Jon Bauer, Herald staff
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