30-second Wesco football preview

Please disregard the alleged football played by the University of Washington last weekend. Football season really begins tonight with a full slate of high school games. Here's a quick preview of top Wesco contenders:

Oak Harbor (11-1 last year): The only thing that can stop them is if the ferry breaks down on the way to the game -- about a 50-50 shot.

Edmonds-Woodway (9-0): Not that all the money in Edmonds is a big advantage, but private helicopters to transport each player might be a bit unfair.

Mariner (7-2): Matching the private helicopters with private skateboards.

Snoho­mish (9-2): All the seniors are back, but lots of underclassmen were lost to the new Glacier Peak High School. There could be a shortage of players to carry the water buckets and have Icy Hot put in their jocks.

Kamiak (7-2) and Cascade (7-4): If workers at nearby Boeing start developing Wesco fantasy football leagues, you'll know we're in for a long strike.

Lake Stevens (6-4): Taking a page from their city, the Vikings hope to improve by annexing every good player they see.

Marysville-Pilchuck (5-5): Players are highly prepared for the locker room after holding their noses all summer just to walk around town.