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Justin v. Captain Wageslave
Or how Game Stop stopped me from gaming
Posted
at
5:55 pm
As a geek with over 20 year’s experience, I have come to appreciate the services and experiences that come with gaming stores.
Independent stores, such as Fantastic Games in Lynnwood, are special places where the inner geek in all of us may frolic with nary an inhibition. A place where it can get weird – and it’s ok. Indy shops become a special haven and if the tone is right, can become a home away from home. But with dragons and obvious contempt for personal hygiene.
Chain stores vary in the degree of hobby immersion a proper geek may inundate themselves with. Games Workshop at the Alderwood mall is a good place for Warhammer players to set up and throw down or paint their mini’s with fastidious care.
So it wrecks me when I go into Game Stop on Friday and experience my own, personal version of Mortal Kombat.
As a video game store, Game Stop supplies a service to a niche market, relying on the goods of consumers rather than game developers and producers to fuel their business. For the most part, Game Stop buys and sells used games and on the rare occasion when the planets are in alignment and dark forces have made unsettling pacts with their earthbound brood, Game Stop actually sells brand new games. In turn, those new games are then bought from the gamer at a pittance for the dreaded “in store credit” then resold to gamers for close to retail prices – allowing Game Stop to make enough money to swim in ala Scrooge McDuck.
Here’s the story: I was looking for a particular game in a series. A well known series. I couldn’t find a copy at the local Best Buy so I visited a Game Stop. They are not hard to find as you can’t throw a rock without hitting at least three in every strip-mall in the county.
Rolling into the store I was immediately assaulted by Capt. Wageslave.
Capt. Wageslave asked me if I was looking for a game, I told him the name, and he grabbed it for me. Cheap too, though I was to find out just why exactly it was only worth 14 Campbell Soup labels. I bought the game, said no to the five titles he wanted me to preorder, took a pass on the Game Informer Magazine subscription, got into my car and went home.
Throwing the game into the platter of my Xbox 360, the game did not load. At all. So I removed it from the platter and took a look at it and was shocked to see that the disk looked like it had been used as a chew-toy by the Great Sarlack from Return of the Jedi. I suppose they may have tried to clean it or fix the plethora of scratches on the disk, but only if they did so with sandpaper.
Disappointed I got back into my car and drove to the store.
Capt. Wageslave welcomed me, asked me if I was looking for any games when I reminded him that I was just in here thirty minutes ago. I told him what happened, showed him the disk, and he switched it with another disk. I asked him to show me the disk, which was a little scratched by didn’t look as if it were used by Fredrick Krueger as an emery board. Satisfied, I returned to my lair.
Where it was yet again unable to play.
Furious, I returned to the Game Stop in question and returned the game and asked for my money back. He asked if I wanted in-store credit. I said no. He asked if I wanted to pre-order anything. I said no. He asked if wanted to use the money for a Game Informer Magazine subscription.
I nearly blacked out I was so bent – I thought I was somehow starring in a sequel to Idiocracy.
No, no, no. I just wanted my money back. It was at this time that I considered switching hobbies so that I would never, ever, have to go to a Game Stop again. Ever.
Game Stop is, essentially, a niche pawn shop that caters to console gamers. I don’t begrudge their existence; I just wish they were more honest with it. This isn’t a place you go for new games, it’s a place where games go to die. Where employees use their necromantic skills to resurrect games, then recycling them for the masses – only to later be sold again in a grim cycle of undeath.
I don’t begrudge the people who work there, even The Captain. Who hasn’t known the dread, the shame, the ungodly toil that is retail sales? And for the most part, Game Stop employees are gamers who participate in the hobby - unlike some Best Buy minions I could mention who still think that Pac-Man is a new release.
There has been much ado about Game Stop lately. A person alleging to be a former GameStop employee has been posting web videos in the vein of “Zero Punctuation,” creating a blend of insider information and crude humor.
The videos go into detail over what he considers “shady business practices” of Game Stop that Game Stop begins to sound like the entertainment division of Umbrella Corporation from Resident Evil.
What slays me is the apparent disregard there seems to be for the consumer’s time at Game Stop. By not checking to make sure their games and consoles are in good working order they are knowingly selling a reconstituted product that has a high propensity for failure. When that game or game system fails that means I have to pack up my purchase, get in to the “Awesomobile 9000” and drive all the way back to Game Stop. This procedure is usually repeated until A) the game or system finally works or B) the customer no longer has the will to live.
Game Stop has officially lost my business and unless they develop a bacon-cheeseburger that actually makes you lose weight, I’ll never buy anything from them again.
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