Promises, promises, promises

Promises made: Now that taxpayers are going to be on the hook for Wall Street's mess, everyone's arguing about where the money goes.

Some executives at failing companies are hoping to get out with big "golden parachutes." Clearly, they deserve the money for being the best at what they do. They drove the economy off a cliff, but nobody could've done it better.

Promises kept: A Mill Creek librarian sprinkled 18 worms on a fast-food burger and scarfed it down. The librarian said he was fulfilling a pledge to students. He also was acting as a metaphor for what taxpayers are doing to help Wall Street.

Promise you won't do that again: The Emmys may have made the right call about "Mad Men" and "30 Rock" being TV's best shows, but they made the wrong one on their opening act. The show featured five reality show hosts chatting and killing time in front of an increasingly hostile crowd.

If you invested your time in the show, that's 12 minutes you'll never get back -- unless, of course, you run a brokerage. In that case, you can ask the government to buy it back for you.