Blender also useful for 401(k) statements

Author Judy Blume, who's sold more than 80 million books for kids about ooky stuff your folks didn't want to talk about, was feted by adoring fans in honor of her 70th birthday.

The event, dubbed Blumesday, was immediately banned in the towns of Rolling Fork, Ind., and Milk Springs, Ark.

Martha Stewart knows everything, including how to grow a luxuriant bed of moss on your flagstone patio.

The secret involves grabbing some moss, tossing it into a blender and pouring in some beer. Try the "frappe" setting.

Added benefit: Your moss-beer smoothie will double as a festive St. Patrick's Day beverage in case Barney Gumble of "The Simpsons" drops by.

So you think you can ride out this financial meltdown? Take this simple quiz and find out. According to columnist Michelle Singletary, you should respond to the crisis by:

A) Paying down your debt

B) Converting all your assets to Krugerrands

C) Stocking up on 100-pound sacks of rice and beans, and arming yourself with a Ruger 10/22 rifle for taking small game and, with well-placed shots, deer.