The horror, the horror
It's scary how bad these movies are
Thursday, October 2, 2008 | 12:01 am
Where to start, and how to make myself stop. So, so many bad horror movies to choose from.
Well, I never pass up a chance to rag on “Exorcist 2: The Heretic.” I’m so sorry James Earl Jones had anything to do with it. He probably is too. And there’s that excrement known as “Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2.”
We’ll talk about sequels Saturday, and then I’ll tell you how I really feel.
I’ve fortunately avoided hundreds of bad movies, but here are some that immediately come to mind: “Children of the Living Dead,” “Darkness,” “Darkness Falls,” “Urban Legend,” “Mangler,” “I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer, “Dead Silence,” “Leprechaun Part All of Them” and “Final Destination 3.”
Dare I even bother to mention “Manos: The Hands of Fate”?. We'll look at B-movies later in the month, by the way.
I must admit I’ve never seen “Plan 9 from Outer Space,” just a couple of laughable, short clips. Is it really the total tragedy that conventional wisdom says it is?
I’ll leave you with some of the more recent stinkers I hope you’ve managed to avoid. Then I hope you post below to talk about the movies you love to hate.
“The Reaping”: How do you have material like the 10 plagues of Egypt to work with and still produced an unholy mess like this? The plagues were scarier in “The Mummy” — that would be the Brendan Fraser “Mummy,” and that’s saying something.
“Hostel II”: Very little bloodshed (and what else should this movie be but bloodshed) and way too much on the worker bees and honchos of this buy-a-murder business. Enough “foreshadowing” sidelong looks and meaningful stares to fill three Merchant Ivory films.
“The Eye”: The original 2002 Chinese/Thai movie — “The Eye,” also known as “Jian gui” or “Gin gwai” — is available on DVD. Don’t bother with the American version.
“The Ruins”: Horror-movie math: “Turistas” plus “Cabin Fever” equals “The Ruins.”
Don't forget to post your favorite horror movies under the topic "Hey...you wanna see something really scary?" I'll take the top three and we'll do a day on each at the end of the month.
(Tomorrow, we'll do vampires, and you can watch the 1922 "Nosferatu" in its entirety here on HeraldNet.)
Well, I never pass up a chance to rag on “Exorcist 2: The Heretic.” I’m so sorry James Earl Jones had anything to do with it. He probably is too. And there’s that excrement known as “Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2.”
We’ll talk about sequels Saturday, and then I’ll tell you how I really feel.
I’ve fortunately avoided hundreds of bad movies, but here are some that immediately come to mind: “Children of the Living Dead,” “Darkness,” “Darkness Falls,” “Urban Legend,” “Mangler,” “I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer, “Dead Silence,” “Leprechaun Part All of Them” and “Final Destination 3.”
Dare I even bother to mention “Manos: The Hands of Fate”?. We'll look at B-movies later in the month, by the way.
I must admit I’ve never seen “Plan 9 from Outer Space,” just a couple of laughable, short clips. Is it really the total tragedy that conventional wisdom says it is?
I’ll leave you with some of the more recent stinkers I hope you’ve managed to avoid. Then I hope you post below to talk about the movies you love to hate.
“The Reaping”: How do you have material like the 10 plagues of Egypt to work with and still produced an unholy mess like this? The plagues were scarier in “The Mummy” — that would be the Brendan Fraser “Mummy,” and that’s saying something.
“Hostel II”: Very little bloodshed (and what else should this movie be but bloodshed) and way too much on the worker bees and honchos of this buy-a-murder business. Enough “foreshadowing” sidelong looks and meaningful stares to fill three Merchant Ivory films.
“The Eye”: The original 2002 Chinese/Thai movie — “The Eye,” also known as “Jian gui” or “Gin gwai” — is available on DVD. Don’t bother with the American version.
“The Ruins”: Horror-movie math: “Turistas” plus “Cabin Fever” equals “The Ruins.”
Don't forget to post your favorite horror movies under the topic "Hey...you wanna see something really scary?" I'll take the top three and we'll do a day on each at the end of the month.
(Tomorrow, we'll do vampires, and you can watch the 1922 "Nosferatu" in its entirety here on HeraldNet.)
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