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heraldnet.com


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Published: Monday, October 13, 2008

Common sense is good consumer protection

When will the highly successful "Law & Order" TV franchise of shows reflect reality and offer us "Law & Order FLU" -- the Frivolous Lawsuit Unit?

Like the other series, episodes would be based on real-life cases, of which there is seemingly no end. For example:

A brave Superior Court judge in Connecticut threw out a lawsuit against the cosmetics company L'Oreal Inc., filed by a woman who claimed that her "naturally blonde" hair had been ruined by a tube of hair color that turned her tresses brown. Charlotte Feeney said in her suit that "she tried to return her hair to its natural color but it remains brown." Wow. L'Oreal really invented a true "permanent" hair color. Women trying to keep the gray at bay would pay big bucks for that. Of course, cosmetic companies would go out of business if that were the case, so rest assured, Charlotte Feeney, your hair will return to its "natural state." Whatever it is.

But apparently the dye caused Feeney's hair to stop growing because "I can never go back to my natural blonde hair." Feeney said in the suit that she feels "fake" about not having her blonde hair. It does stir the soul, but the judge was not swayed. Even when she added: "Also blondes do get more attention than brunettes, of course, emotionally, I miss that." Of course.

Feeney's attorney declined to comment. Hopefully in shame.

Closer to home, a King County woman is suing the Applebee's restaurant chain, claiming their menus dramatically understate fat and calorie counts. This isn't exactly frivolous. But it's not exactly virtuous consumer protection either.

The plaintiff is specifically targeting the restaurant's Weight Watchers menu, saying independent lab tests show that the items had two to three times the fat calories listed. Attorneys have asked that the case receive class-action status, allowing other customers to join the suit. Toward what end? To say they were misled? They were misled and gained weight because of it? They can prove the weight they gained was due to a meal at Applebee's? Or they didn't gain weight, it was just emotionally troubling being lied to like that? And they want compensation? If it isn't enough to just not eat there anymore, how about asking Applebee's to pay for the lab tests, loudly publicize the results, and call it a day. Now, with a lawsuit, the Applebee's lawyers must get involved and it will come down to what you "mean by fat calories," etc.

Where are the consumers armed with common sense? Emotionally, we miss that.

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