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There just ain't no accountin' for taste
Guilty-pleasure horror movies
Posted
at
12:01 am
by Jacqueline McCartney
Admit it, we all got ‘em.
Those crummy movies that appear on the onscreen TV guide and suddenly become better than anything else listed. The ones that make a nice backdrop while you’re paying your bills, perusing your kid’s homework or finally breaking down and housecleaning. Those DVDs you strategically place in your collection between “Schindler’s List” and “Unforgiven” so any visitors won’t think you’re devoid of artistic discrimination.
I’m woman enough to confess to mine (not woman enough to keep from secretly hoping this is going to be a slow Scream Queen traffic day).
I looked up the following movies up on Rotten Tomatoes, and they get ratings from 11 percent to 38 percent. To get a “fresh” rating on this site, a film must get at least a 60 percent.
So why do I watch them? I don’t know. I find them entertaining, apparently, or I’d have the likes of “The Exorcist II” on the tube instead. Who knows where these curious and somewhat embarassing — oh, let’s face it, it’s just embarassing — obsessions come from.
Hoping I don’t bust myself from Scream Queen to squeak baroness:
“Ghost Ship” (2002): Beyond the opening mass-murder sequence, which I thought was pretty dang wicked, there’s really no reason to watch this movie. The characters are one-note and not particularly interesting — I blame the script, not the actors — the story is nothing special and most of the mayhem is h0-hum. I have no excuse.
“Demon Knight” (1995): Also known as “Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight.” This was my first Jada Pinkett movie, and I remember noticing here performance throughout the movie. I’ll watch CCH Pounder in almost anything, and of course Billy Zane crackled as the demon. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Otherwise, I have no excuse.
“Thirteen Ghosts” (2001): I may never have the opportunity to say with a straight face: These ghosts are lifeless. In fact, in this reworking of the 1960s film of the same name, most of them aren’t even threatening. What’s purported to be the most threatening ghost, The Jackal, isn’t actually worse than the rest of them, just louder.
And it would have helped tremendously if these ghosts had real explanations or backgrounds. And again, if most of them did something other than gawk and grin at the characters.
I enjoyed Tony Shaloub’s performance, and I’m not a huge fan of Matthew Lillard, but I liked him in this movie. Other than those weak justifications, I have no excuse.
“Event Horizon” (1997): Okay, I’m not even going to try. I have no excuse.
“Lake Placid” (1999): Now just a darn minute. It wasn’t THAT bad. This B-movie spoof has Brendan Gleeson and Oliver Platt, two actors I like. Like Pounder, I’ll watch Platt in just about anything. And, come on, watching sweet little Betty White turn into a potty mouth was great. I wonder if many people just didn’t care for all the B and creature-feature cliches or were expecting more of a straight-up horror movie. I have a lame excuse.
So, quid pro quo? Care to confess to your guilty pleasures? On the flip side, if you haven’t done so already, please visit my first entry, “Hey...you wanna see something really scary?” to list your favorite horror movies. I’ll take the top three and do a day on each on the last three days of the month. If you haven’t registered with HeraldNet yet, which you need to do to post comments, I swear it takes only seconds and we don’t try to wringe personal information out of you.
And be sure to check out the A&E section in today's Herald for a list of local haunted houses and similar events. That list also is here on HeraldNet. The Herald will run the list, which likely will have added events, on Fridays through Halloween.
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