See Dick. See Father raid Dick's piggy bank.

The meltown, for kids: An investment adviser offers some helpful ways to talk to kids about the financial crisis. The best way to teach kids, of course, is to read a book, such as this classic "Dick and Jane" tale:

"See Mother and Father."

"See Mother and Father's bank trick them into a mortgage they can't afford."

"See Wall Street have a big party with Mother and Father's money."

"See Mother lose her job."

"See Dick and Jane eat Ramen every night."

There are some big college football games today, headed by the odd spectacle of the Oregon State Beavers playing for a berth in the Rose Bowl. OSU last played in the Rose Bowl in 1964 and has been waiting ever since for the world to be completely backward again.

Meanwhile, we all know our local teams' seasons landed in the Porcelain Bowl long ago.

And police in New Jersey called in a SWAT team to deal with a bank standoff, only to discover the "person" inside was really a life-size cardboard cutout.

Police were not able to explain how the cardboard cutout managed to escape with $10,000 cash.