A Festivus for the rest of us

A Washington, D.C., neighborhood has revived Festivus, the mock holiday made famous by the 1990s sitcom "Seinfeld" (Page A2). For those too young to remember "Seinfeld," or who were watching "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" instead, the purpose of Festivus is to gather under a drab aluminum pole to air one's grievances.

With another freakin' snowstorm bearing down on Snohomish County, Festivus really does seem like the holiday for the rest of us. Let's celebrate with a few weather-related grievances.

* The ridges of ice on the roads are shaking my car to pieces.

* The snow plow made a pile that blocked my driveway.

* I paid $60 for these tire chains, and they broke five minutes after I nearly lost my fingers to frostbite while installing them.

* The liquor store hasn't been open since last Thursday.

* That jerk in the Subaru thinks he can drive 60 mph.

Investigators want to figure out what happened to the $50 billion lost in the Bernard Madoff scandal. They're probing a number of leads, but categorically deny that some of the loot went to Rudy Giuliani's 2008 presidential campaign.