Beefing up

McDonalds Corp. will roll out a new line of $4 burgers made with a third of a pound of beef. The fast-food giant says the beefier burgers will compete with fare at sit-down restaurants. In a related development, scientists predict a 12 percent increase in America's waist measurement by January 2010, which would force us to replace those easy-fit jeans we just bought at Target.

Another sad day: It's been a bad week for natives of Gary, Ind. First Michael Jackson. And now, actor Karl Malden, 97, who departed this world Wednesday. We hope he didn't leave home without American Express Travelers Cheques.

Trouble in Gullyvornia: California's finances are in such disarray that the state government will begin paying bills with IOUs. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger declared a financial emergency, but admitted that he'd been caught off-guard; when he took office, he assumed he'd be called on to save the state from marauding cyborgs, not a collapsing housing market.