Returning soldiers and families have stories of struggle to share
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Mark Mulligan / The Herald
Three of Craig Darby’s four daughters (from left), Klara, 3; Hannah, 7; and Megan, 9, surround their father in the living room Monday afternoon at the Darby home in Everett.
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Mark Mulligan / The Herald
Craig Darby listens to his daughters Klara (left) and Megan (right) while his daughter Hannah, 7, walks into the room Monday afternoon at the family’s home in Everett.
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Mark Mulligan / The Herald Three of Craig Darby’s four daughters, from left, Hannah, 7; Klara, 3; and Megan, 9, try to pull him off of the couch to play with them in the living room Monday afternoon at the Darby home in Everett.
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Mark Mulligan / The Herald The Darby family, from left, Megan, 9; Hannah, 7; baby Sophia, mother Kari, and Klara, 3, show the signs that greeted their father (arm on right) last Wednesday when he arrived home from his second tour of duty in Iraq with the Washington National Guard.
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Mark Mulligan / The Herald Nine-year-old Megan Darby jumps through the sprinkler her father, Craig Darby, just laid down for his daughters to play in at the family’s home in Everett on Monday afternoon.
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Dean J. Koepfler / The News Tribune
Sophia Darby, 7 months old, is sandwiched between her father, Staff Sgt. Craig Darby and her mother, Kari Darby, as they kiss at Wilson Gym in North Fort Lewis on July 29 after the arrival of his unit.
This one, he says, belongs to his wife, Kari.
“She deserves it more than I do,” Darby said. “I don’t have a clue what all she went through.”
Darby was among the first wave of the 3,000-member Washington National Guard 81st Brigade Combat Team to return home. About 200 people on the team are from Snohomish County, and more are scheduled to return today.
It was a long year for the Darby family.
Craig Darby, 38, was mobilized in July 2008 with the 81st Brigade. After training stints in Yakima and Fort McCoy, Wis., Darby and the rest of the 81st were flown to Iraq in October.
Kari Darby, 35, was pregnant when he left.
With the due date just after Christmas, Kari was supposed to take it easy. Instead she shoveled snow so she could get out of their Everett driveway during the big Christmas storms. Kari missed Craig when their daughter Sophia was born. He had been there to help when their other three girls were born.
In February, their oldest daughter, Megan, 9, got a case of the flu that forced Kari to load up all four children in the van in the middle of the night and head for the emergency room.
“Emotionally, it was really hard,” she said. “Craig does so much for us.”
Though the guardsmen in the 81st range in age from 19 to 60, the experience of the Darby family is fairly typical, said Maj. Anne Marie Peacock, director of family programs for the Washington National Guard.
“Serving overseas is stressful, but life there is very uncomplicated,” Peacock said. “You don’t have to shop, fix dinner, get the car tuned up or pick up the kids at school.”
John Anderson, a chaplain with the 81st at Camp Murray, spent a lot of time during this past deployment meeting with families of those serving in the National Guard.
“What people really need is a chance to talk, to tell their stories and sometimes to vent,” Anderson said.
Returning National Guard troops and their families have a lot of stories to share.
Groups of more than 150 from the 81st Brigade are coming home every few days, with the arrivals in Tacoma continuing for about two more weeks. A group of soldiers comes home today and a homecoming ceremony is set for 4 p.m. at the Wilson Gym on the Fort Lewis campus. Among them are Snohomish County soldiers based at the armories in Everett, Bellingham and Seattle.
Soldiers Carissa Simeon Gillis, 22, and her husband, Michael Gillis, 25, returned from Iraq on Saturday. Their families met the couple in Tacoma.
“Then we went to our folks’ place in Snohomish and had a big barbecue,” her brother Brandon Simeon said. “Being back isn’t quite real for them yet.”
Michael Gillis, who works for a medical insurance company, and Carissa, who is employed at a horse supply business, plan to take a little time off before returning to work.
Sgt. Andrew Sunagel also flew home with the group on Saturday.
His wife, Kelly, and their kids, Brendan, 12, and Lexi, 9, of Snohomish had been talking about a family vacation when his year in Iraq came to an end.
“I left it up to him, hoping he would say something beautiful like Hawaii or Mexico,” Kelly Sunagel said. “But the only place in this entire world he wants to go to is Pittsburgh to see Heinz Field where the Steelers football team plays. He is a huge Steelers fan, so we are heading out there to see the team at training camp.”
At the Darby home, it’s been a week of holidays. First came Christmas, then they celebrated Father’s Day. Valentine’s Day and a birthday party for the whole family are up next.
A hardworking logistics and supply sergeant, Craig Darby joined the Army right out of high school. He served in the Desert Storm conflict, and was based in Germany, Korea and stateside before he decided to try civilian life and join the National Guard.
He earned his first Bronze Star for meritorious service in Iraq in 2003 and took on a full-time position with the Washington National Guard.
Hannah, 7, and Klara, 3, missed their daddy while he was gone this past year, but their older sister Megan was able to put it in words.
“I hope you come back alive,” she wrote in an e-mail to her father.
On the way home, members of the 81st made another stop at Fort McCoy.
The Washington National Guard debriefing process, the first of its kind in the nation, includes lots of help to those who have served, Peacock said.
Many are returning with medical problems and emotional issues. Others don’t have jobs to come home to. Veterans programs are set up to address any problems service men and women may have, Peacock said.
“Our motto is let’s take care of problems while people are still on duty,” she said. “It just makes sense.”
Darby praised the debriefing process, especially in its care for people.
“I love my country and my job, but we need think about how much we spend overseas and try to take care of our people at home, too,” he said.
With his two Bronze Stars, Darby has a promotion when he returns to work Sept. 1.
Until then, he can rough house with the older girls and get to know baby Sophia.
“I gotta make up for lost time,” he said.
Gale Fiege: 425-339-3427; gfiege@heraldnet.com.
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