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Note to champions: Celebrate in taste, and please lose the eyewear


Posted at 8:43 pm by By Kirby Arnold

Champagne and championships are as much a part of baseball as spitting and scratching, although that doesn't make either attractive. Personally, I'm not a fan of champagne-spraying, swig-from-the-bottle, act-like-goofballs pennant and World Series celebrations. When the cameras are in the clubhouse, the alcohol shouldn't be -- that's my view.

But I understand that it's something that's been going on forever and guys will douse each other in their delirium. So I yield to baseball tradition and accept it.

What bugs me, though, is the recent addition of goggles as a required element. Remember when men were men and they either dealt with the sting in their eyes or didn't spray with such abandon? I don't recall the 1995 or 1997 or 2000 or 2001 Mariners needing swim goggles. Or, as the Yankees displayed last night, full-blown ski goggles. Wouldn't surprise me if they'd struck a sponsorship deal with Scott or Bolle.

It made me think of how the 2009 Mariners might have celebrated had they won a title this year. This was such a senstive group that even the traditional shaving-cream pie was replaced by ice cream because it irritated their eyes. The Mariners did administer numerous beer showers, but they made sure those occurred away from reporters and cameras, usually in the shower.

Speaking of clubhouse champagne celebrations, the first I experienced first-hand was in 1995 after the Mariners beat the Angels in the one-game playoff for the AL West championship. It wasn't the champagne that stunned me (although I remember my clothes smelling so ripe as I headed home that I drove extremely carefully to make sure I wasn't stopped. I'm sure an officer would have believed this: "No sir, I don't drink. I was in the Mariners' clubhouse a few hours ago.").

What I'll never forget of that scene in the home clubhouse at the Kingdome was the sudden tug I felt on the back of my shirt, and then the shock of what felt like a gallon of ice being dumped down my back. I turned to see reliever Jeff Nelson with an empty pitcher in his hand a devlish grin on his face before he turned to get another load of ice for his next victim.

See, guys can have fun without alcohol. Or goggles.
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