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Griffey, Lincecum and a local coach's close shave
Friday, Nov. 6, 2009
Posted
at
11:55 am
TODAY'S LINEUP
The top sports stories from today's edition of The Herald:
1. I'm all for accountability ... as long as it's not my fault
Let's see, Seahawks head coach Jim Mora has assured the media and fans that the problem with his struggling NFL team is not effort, injuries or attitude. OK, Jim, guess that leaves just two things: talent or coaching. Which should we blame?
2. Wear do I sign up for that job?
The Mariners are talking with Ken Griffey Jr.'s agent about the possibility of the 40-year-old DH returning next season. It appears money and playing time are not issues for Griffey, who said near the end of the 2009 season that he would like to come back. Those wouldn't be issues for the Closer either. If anyone wants to pay The Closer a few hundred-thousand bucks to sit on the bench, crack jokes and hit rookies in the face with shaving-cream pies, he's in.
3. The hairless Warrior
Congratulations to the Meadowdale High School girls soccer team and the Edmonds-Woodway volleyball team. Both clinched state-tournament berths with victories Thursday night. E-W's win cost head coach Mike Pittis his 40-year-old mustache. So, coach Mike, what are going to shave if the Warriors win state?
4. He's playing even it he's on crutches
After suggesting all week that QB Jake Locker might not play against UCLA on Saturday because of a deep thigh bruise, University of Washington football coach Steve Sarkisian on Thursday suddenly pronounced Locker healthy. “He ran really well,” Sarkisian said. “I expect him to play.” To what do we attribute this miraculous healing? The Closer thinks the credit goes to the 0-8 record of Locker's backup, Ronnie Fouch.
5. Ahhh, the good old days
Speaking of the Huskies, they play against their former coach Rick Neuheisel on Saturday. Neuheisel left the UW under a scandalous cloud following the 2002 season. Asked about the messy divorce, Neuheisel said this week “I only remember the good times.” By “good times” he means his win over Purdue in the 2001 Rose Bowl and his victories in the 2000, 2001 and 2002 office basketball pools.
THE WARMUP PITCH
We'll chuckle the next time he throws a ‘high fastball'
Ex-Husky and 2008 NL Cy Young Award winner Tim Lincecum has been cited for possession of marijuana after he was pulled over last week while driving just north of Portland, Ore. Police say he was doing 74 in a 60 mph zone in his Mercedes. Mariner fans have long wondered why their team passed over Lincecum in the 2006 draft to take Brandon “I'm starter, no, I'm a reliever, no, make that a starter” Morrow. Could it be they now have their answer?
Hitmen vs. the Hitman
The Everett Silvertips play the Calgary Hitmen tonight, a team that's nickname suggests political correctness slams on the brakes at the U.S.-Canadian border. Of course, the Tips have a hitman of their own. His name is Radko Gudas. Check him and his teammates out in this video.
It's pronounced ‘Smith'
Washington State safety Chima Nwachukwu won't play in Saturday's football game against Arizona because of a bad ankle. The news is being celebrated by the Wildcats' play-by-play announcer, who wound up on the disabled list with a sprained tongue the last time he tried to pronounce Nwak ... Nachwa ... Nogga ... Forget it.
I've got you're back, Mr. Snyder
Washington Redskins defensive coordinator Greg Blache has come to the defense of team owner Dan Snyder, who has been under fire for his team's poor performance in recent years. “The problem is the fans don't get to know Mr. Snyder like we do,” Blache said. Here's what Blache knows: Snyder is a gazillionaire with a history of overpaying his employees. If Snyder were the Closer's boss, the Closer would be sucking up to.
Best seat in the house, and it comes with a uniform
Last year, freshman Brendan Sherrer of Monroe cheered on the UW men's basketball team from the front row of the student section at Hec Ed. Who could have guessed that Sherrer would actually improve his seating arrangements this winter? Sherrer made the UW team last week as a walk-on. Granted, he's not going to play much, if at all, but at least he no longer has to paint his chest purple and gold to get a good seat.
Be careful what you wish for, Brendan
Sherrer said he would have loved to be able to bang bodies with former Husky Jon Brockman, who was known for his aggressive play and bone-crunching elbows. Sherrer's dentist and his ear-nose-and-throat guy would have loved that, too. Cha-ching. Cha-ching.
CURVE BALLS
The wild and wacky news from the world of sports ...
Money player
A University of Montana student who kicked a 45-yard field goal to win $10,000 in the school's “Kick for Cash” contest on Saturday may not get his prize. UM officials say because Matthew Brenner played organized football in the previous five years, he was not eligible to collect the money. They're trying to come up with a consolation prize. If the guy can kick a 45-yard field goal under pressure, The Closer suggests giving him a football scholarship.
Quote of the day
Best quote from today's Sports section of The Herald comes from Seattle Seahawks defensive coordinator Gus Bradley, who, in emphasizing the importance of doing things right, told lineman Patrick Kerney, “Don't keep pounding a bent nail. Pull it out, hit it straight and do it the right way.” Guys, guys, wouldn't it be smarter just to get a new nail?
THE RUNDOWN
Ken Griffey Jr. may be on the verge of returning for one more season with the Mariners. Once Griffey retires, he'll go directly onto The Closer's Former-Seattle-Athletes-I-Miss-Most list. As it stands right now, here are the top five:
1. Steve Largent. The Seahawks' Hall-of-Fame wide receiver was tough, dependable and humble. He set a slew of NFL records during his 14 seasons. Asked late in his career which record was his favorite, he responded: “The White Album, by the Beatles.”
2. Dan Wilson. The Mariners' classy catcher was a solid defender, a solid hitter and a solid community member. You can't ask for more. He retired following the 2005 season and the Mariners are still looking for someone capable of filling his shin guards.
3. Edgar Martinez. The Closer misses the former Mariner DH's consistent bat and his entertaining accent. Loved to hear Edgar talk about beating the “Jankees.”
4. Sonny Sixkiller. The Closer's favorite Husky football player of all-time. Not only was he a great passer, but he had the best name for a QB of all time.
5. The Seattle SuperSonics. Miss 'em all. Bob Rule, Spencer Haywood, Lenny Wilkens, Dennis Johnson, Jack Sikma, Gary Payton ...
Contact The Closer at inthebullpen@heraldnet.com.
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