While the news is discouraging for health officials, it should be noted that the increase likely wasn't among the general U.S. population but solely among the cast of AMC's “Mad Men.”
What about calling AAA? One of NASA's Mars rovers has been stuck in the red planet's sand since April, but engineers say they have devised a solution to free the six-wheeled probe. Basically the plan is this: Put it in “D” and hope for the best.
See, this is why manual transmissions are a better choice; they're easier to rock back and forth when you're stuck.