Brown paper bags for fans

Gridiron classic: Prepare for a spot shortage of brown paper grocery bags today. That's because roughly 70,000 Husky and Cougar fans will be wearing them on their heads when their awful football teams collide in the Apple Cup.

The Dawgs are a 24-point favorite, but the Cougs hope for a repeat of last year's game, when they eked out an upset victory in double overtime.

If the UW loses this one, Coach Steve Sarkisian will need extra security to protect him from enraged mobs of Tyee Club members armed with pitchforks, torches and titanium golf putters.

He shanked it: Tiger Woods was resting comfortably after he landed in the rough while trying to drive away from his Florida mansion. A crash left him with cuts on his face and a lot of explaining to do.

Woods' wife used one of his golf clubs to smash a window and pull him out of his SUV. She first reached for a 9-iron, but her caddy convinced her to try a pitching wedge.

Corporate tweets: Searching for new ways to turn a profit, retailers have turned to Twitter, which as everyone knows is a gold mine.

Even Santa has been posting from the North Pole. Most of his tweets consist of favorite cookie recipes and rants about chimney cleanliness.