Badges? We ain't got no badges.

We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges: Pacific Medical's Canyon Park clinic is using a new technique to cut the time patients are kept waiting. As they enter, patients are given an electronic badge that tracks where they are in the clinic and how long they've been waiting.

If it's all the same to our docs, we'll skip the badge, bring an egg timer and let them know when it goes off.

Keep your shirt on: About two dozen women drew a crowd in Portland, Maine, as they shed their shirts and marched topless on Saturday. A group leader said topless women shouldn't attract any more attention in public than a man walking around without a shirt.

Maybe so, but we can think of two reasons why they do.

Voted best place not to kiss: A court in Dubai in the United Arab Emirates upheld a one-month prison sentence for a British couple convicted of kissing in a restaurant after an Emirati woman complained about the “passionate” peck on the cheek.

If the Emirati woman offended by the immoral display is making travel plans any time soon, we'd recommend she steer clear of Portland, Maine. And Portland, Ore., for that matter.