Finalist for Upperclass Twit of the Year

At least he got his life back: BP announced it will replace the always-good-for-an-infuriating-quote Tony Hayward as its chief executive as of Oct. 1. With the announcement, Hayward, who will receive benefits valued at $18 million, told reporters he had been "demonized and vilified," but stoically remarked, "Life isn't fair."

Tony, if we may offer some encouragement: Lie back and think of England.

Patty the riveter: Following an ad critical of Washington's Sen. Patty Murray, D-Keds, that showed a woman in tennis shoes walking over three people, Murray's campaign has released its own ad that touts her record in fighting for Boeing jobs in Everett.

We just hope the ad writers resisted the urge to put Patty's hair up in a red-and-white polka-dot scarf and show her rolling up her sleeve.

CSI: DIY: San Francisco police officials have launched a pilot program that will train civilians to investigate nonviolent crimes, including interviewing witnesses and collecting evidence.

The volunteers will receive training and be given basic equipment, but to save money they will have to make their own siren sounds when responding to crime scenes.