In 2003, Stephen Ritchie was an Everett High School commencement speaker. In 2008, he graduated from the University of Washington. He’s on target to earn a law degree from New York Law School in May.
“I actually really enjoy law school,” Ritchie said Thursday by phone from Manhattan. “I find it fun and challenging.”
He makes it sound easy. It wasn’t always easy.
The 25-year-old hasn’t forgotten some hellish high school experiences. Ritchie is gay.
Anyone who doesn’t believe that adolescent bullying hits gay and lesbian kids especially hard should ask a person who really knows — who has been singled out as a target of cruelty. And listen with a compassionate ear.
In his junior year at Everett High, Ritchie began telling close friends he was gay. “By the end of my junior year, I had completely told my family. I had just turned 17,” he said.
“I had been getting teased about it for a very long time,” Ritchie said.
What happened went way beyond hallway teasing. On Thursday, he described two blatant incidents. “A person a grade below me threatened to kill me. He followed me to my car,” he said.
Ritchie recalled that after he told an Everett High official about the threat, the culprit was called into the office but wasn’t suspended from school.
In another incident, Ritchie said, a male student’s car was vandalized, and someone wrote on the car in shaving cream that the boy with the car “loves Stephen Ritchie.”
Ritchie said school authorities took some action against a student suspected in the taunts, but he still believes the punishment didn’t go far enough.
“The part that bothered me most, I had played sports with a lot of these people,” he said. “I got my feelings hurt. There were times I felt down, but for the most part I think I handled it pretty well.”
Recent news of Rutgers University freshman Tyler Clementi’s suicide has opened a door to discussions of bullying and the risks to gay teens. The 18-year-old jumped to his death in the Hudson River after he was secretly taped during a sexual encounter with a man; the video was streamed online.
“I was absolutely shocked when I heard that news,” Ritchie said by e-mail Wednesday. “It isn’t only an issue of sexuality, but is a broader issue of human decency.”
Years past the taunts and intimidation, Ritchie is busy with law school and a legal aid internship. He is dating a clinical pharmacist who works at a New York hospital. “We’re a good match so far,” he said.
He is saddened that anyone had to endure Clementi’s nightmare.
“I have been through the hiding and pretending that comes along with being in the closet, and it is a very hard time in one’s life,” Ritchie said. “To feel like you have to end your life because of who you are and because of what someone else has done to you is just unimaginable.”
At Everett Community College on Monday, an event will mark the 10th anniversary of a program called Safe Zone. From 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Monday in Room 209 of the Parks Student Union, there will be cake and conversation about making the campus a more welcoming place for gay students.
“We want to think that attitudes are changing,” said Darryl Dieter, EvCC’s director of institutional research. Yet Dieter said the Rutgers tragedy and other incidents show that more understanding is critical. Dieter is faculty adviser for the Triangle Alliance, an EvCC student club that provides social support and information about gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender issues.
As part of the Safe Place program, faculty and staff can post stickers that indicate they are understand and support gay students and those still questioning their sexuality. “A little sticker outside an office means it’s a safe place to talk about any issues,” Dieter said.
Monday’s event coincides with National Coming Out Day, designated by the Human Rights Campaign, a civil rights organization. The date recognizes an Oct. 11, 1987 gay rights march in Washington, D.C.
“It is a big thing for a lot of young people to actually come out,” Dieter said. “People share their stories. They’re worried for weeks in advance about what to say to friends and family. Why would you not be supportive of someone being who they are?”
For Ritchie, learning about Safe Zone is bittersweet. It’s great to see community awareness of young gay people’s struggles, he said.
“On the other hand, it is sad that it is 2010 and we still need to have programs like Safe Zone,” Ritchie said. “I’m optimistic, but also realistic. Quite a few people still do not support gay rights.”
Julie Muhlstein: 425-339-3460, muhlstein@heraldnet.com.
Safe Zone program
On Monday, Everett Community College will celebrate the 10th anniversary of its Safe Zone program, which aims to make the campus a more welcoming place for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students. Cake and conversation will be part of the event from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Monday in Room 209 of the Parks Student Union. It coincides with National Coming Out Day.
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