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Published: Thursday, May 19, 2011, 12:01 a.m.

Banking on the end of the world

Jesus saves: Family Radio, the online ministry that has predicted that Saturday is Judgment Day, has been raking in donations since it made its prediction. Its leader, Harold Camping, says that if anything is left in its bank account as of Saturday it will all be consumed in the tribulation that follows.

Yeah, we got the same notice from our bank about the increase in fees for our checking account.


Knock, knock: In an audio tape recorded before his death and released online earlier today, al Qaida leader Osama bin Laden is heard predicting that the winds of change were blowing over the entire Muslim world.

Then, as he signs off with his trademark "Death to the Great Satan America," bin Laden is interrupted by a knock at the door.


It's no skin off our nose: San Franciscans will vote this November on a measure that would prohibit circumcision of males under the age of 18, making the practice a misdemeanor punishable by up to a fine of $1,000 and a year in jail.

So, assuming the measure passes, gentlemen, you can still leave your heart in San Francisco, but your foreskin stays with you.

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