Military doesn’t recognize same-sex marriage

  • By Tom Philpott
  • Sunday, December 2, 2012 3:31pm
  • Business

With repeal last year of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell law, many military people, including senior leaders, assumed that married gay and lesbian couples had gained not only job security but also equality in allowances, benefits and access to family support. That assumption is wrong.

Since the law took effect 14 months ago, the Department of Defense has kept in place policies that bar spouses of same-gender couples from having military identification cards, shopping on base, living in base housing or participating in certain family support programs.

Repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, says Army Lt. Col. Heather Mack, 39, “simply just prevented me from losing my job. It didn’t do anything else.”

Mack’s spouse, Ashley Broadway, also 39, can shop in stores on nearby Fort Bragg, N.C., only in the status of “caregiver” for their son, Carson. Lacking a military dependent ID card, Ashley has been challenged by checkout clerks when her shopping cart includes items such as deodorant that clearly aren’t needed by their 2-year old.

If Mack is reassigned, the couple will have to pay Ashley’s travel and transportation costs out of pocket. Mack draws housing allowance at the higher “with-dependents” rate only because of their child. Marriage alone for same-sex couples, though recognized as legal by 11 states and the District of Columbia, doesn’t qualify a military sponsor for married allowances or civilian spouses for entry onto bases.

If Mack were killed during her next deployment, Ashley would not qualify for full “spousal” survivor benefits, even though, by paying higher premiums, she could be covered as an “insurable interest.” And as a surviving widow, Ashley would not qualify for Dependency and Indemnity Compensation from the Department of Veterans or be eligible to receive the folded flag off the coffin at the graveside ceremony, Mack says, because, to the military and the VA, Ashley would not be next of kin, despite spending a career together.

A heterosexual soldier “who meets someone on a Friday night and Saturday gets married would have full benefits,” Mack says. “But you have partners who have been together 15 years or more and they can’t even go on base and shop. … That’s a quality-of-life issue.”

Some disparities of treatment for same-sex couples won’t end unless Congress repeals the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act, which defines marriage as solely between a man and a woman, or unless the U.S. Supreme Court rules that the law is unconstitutional. The high court was expected to announce soon if it will review and rule on conflicting opinions by appellate courts.

While the law remains in effect, it prohibits the extension of many federal benefits, including military allowances, travel reimbursements and health coverage to same-sex spouses. But Stephen L. Peters II, president of the gay and lesbian advocacy group American Military Partner Association, says DoD has authority to do much more.

It could give gay and lesbian spouses access to base housing, commissaries and exchanges, base recreation facilities and legal services. It could direct the services to open more family programs to them and to offer relocation and sponsorship at overseas duty stations.

No DoD official would be interviewed on this issue. The department instead issued a statement explaining that a work group continues to conduct “a deliberative and comprehensive review of the possibility of extending eligibility for benefits, when legally permitted, to same-sex domestic partners.”

Life in service is better for gays and lesbians since repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. But the department’s unresponsiveness to quality-of-life concerns of married members, unrelated to DOMA, continue to impact not only families but readiness, Peters argues.

Write Military Update, P.O. Box 231111, Centreville, VA, or email milupdate@aol.com.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Business

Allan and Frances Peterson, a woodworker and artist respectively, stand in the door of the old horse stable they turned into Milkwood on Sunday, March 31, 2024, in Index, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Old horse stall in Index is mini art gallery in the boonies

Frances and Allan Peterson showcase their art. And where else you can buy a souvenir Index pillow or dish towel?

Everett
Red Robin to pay $600K for harassment at Everett location

A consent decree approved Friday settles sexual harassment and retaliation claims by four victims against the restaurant chain.

magniX employees and staff have moved into the company's new 40,000 square foot office on Seaway Boulevard on Monday, Jan. 18, 2020 in Everett, Washington. magniX consolidated all of its Australia and Redmond operations under one roof to be home to the global headquarters, engineering, manufacturing and testing of its electric propulsion systems.  (Andy Bronson / The Herald)
Harbour Air plans to buy 50 electric motors from Everett company magniX

One of the largest seaplane airlines in the world plans to retrofit its fleet with the Everett-built electric propulsion system.

Simreet Dhaliwal speaks after winning during the 2024 Snohomish County Emerging Leaders Awards Presentation on Wednesday, April 17, 2024, in Everett, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Simreet Dhaliwal wins The Herald’s 2024 Emerging Leaders Award

Dhaliwal, an economic development and tourism specialist, was one of 12 finalists for the award celebrating young leaders in Snohomish County.

Lynnwood
New Jersey company acquires Lynnwood Land Rover dealership

Land Rover Seattle, now Land Rover Lynnwood, has been purchased by Holman, a 100-year-old company.

Szabella Psaztor is an Emerging Leader. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Szabella Pasztor: Change begins at a grassroots level

As development director at Farmer Frog, Pasztor supports social justice, equity and community empowerment.

Simreet Dhaliwal is an Emerging Leader. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Simreet Dhaliwal: A deep-seated commitment to justice

The Snohomish County tourism and economic specialist is determined to steer change and make a meaningful impact.

Nathanael Engen, founder of Black Forest Mushrooms, an Everett gourmet mushroom growing operation is an Emerging Leader. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Nathanael Engen: Growing and sharing gourmet mushrooms

More than just providing nutritious food, the owner of Black Forest Mushrooms aims to uplift and educate the community.

Owner and founder of Moe's Coffee in Arlington Kaitlyn Davis poses for a photo at the Everett Herald on March 22, 2024 in Everett, Washington. (Annie Barker / The Herald)
Kaitlyn Davis: Bringing economic vitality to Arlington

More than just coffee, Davis has created community gathering spaces where all can feel welcome.

Emerging Leader John Michael Graves. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
John Michael Graves: Champion for diversity and inclusion

Graves leads training sessions on Israel, Jewish history and the Holocaust and identifying antisemitic hate crimes.

Gracelynn Shibayama, the events coordinator at the Edmonds Center for the Arts, is an Emerging Leader. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Gracelynn Shibayama: Connecting people through the arts and culture

The Edmonds Center for the Arts coordinator strives to create a more connected and empathetic community.

Eric Jimenez, a supervisor at Cocoon House, is an Emerging Leader. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Eric Jimenez: Team player and advocate for youth

As an advocate for the Latino community, sharing and preserving its traditions is central to Jimenez’ identity.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.