All 50 states present and accounted for

Yep, they're all still there: This time both Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts and President Barack Obama had little difficulty during Obama's oath of office, save for a slight stumble as Obama said the word "states" in "president of the United States."

You'll have to excuse the president; he was just taking a mental roll call of all 50 states to assure himself that none of the red states had actually seceded in a whiny snit.

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I'm fixing a hole: Looking to pass federal Justice Department muster, Washington state officials are working to craft strict controls for a voter-mandated system regarding the production and sale of legal marijuana.

In order to satisfy the feds, an early draft of the rules calls for the pot to be smoked in the presence of a federally approved monitor, preferably a grandmother with a good stern gaze, and in a well-ventilated room to avoid exposing others to second-hand buzz.

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Don't know much about history: On this day in 1968, the sketch comedy series "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In" premiered on NBC-TV.

Celebrate today by confusing those younger than 45 with the following phrases: "You bet your sweet bippy," "the Flying Fickle Finger of Fate," "One ringy dingy" and "Sock it to me!"

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