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Phone faux pas? Do hold yourself in contempt

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  • Judge Raymond Voet, of Ionia, Mich., has set the standard for punishing oneself for practicing bad mobile phone manners.

    Associated Press

    Judge Raymond Voet, of Ionia, Mich., has set the standard for punishing oneself for practicing bad mobile phone manners.

Let's seek a little bad news relief with a trip to the lighter side:
•"Judge holds self in contempt for his smartphone": Wouldn't it be nice if people policed themselves the same way? ("Oh my goodness, I'm holding up the long line and I'm being rude to the clerk who is patiently trying to take my order. I am so in contempt!") And after the rebellion, a robot would then confiscate her phone.
"Why should work keep you off the treadmill?": A senior policy analyst in the Oregon Department of Consumer and Business Services Insurance Division, concerned about how much time his job requires him to sit, has proposed equipping desk-bound state employees with a treadmill instead of a chair. A fine idea, but think bigger.
Since they are state workers, why not instead equip them with the stationary bikes designed to create electricity? Fit employees who can power their own computers, a multitasking two-fer. (Employees will know if they aren't pedalling hard enough if they still have the breath to say, "Darn that senior policy analyst in the Oregon Department of Consumer and Business Services Insurance Division.")
•"6 ways you know the robots are revolting": They chew with their mouths open? They oil their squeaky parts at their work desks? Oh. When they declare the million robot march on Washington? When they refuse to recharge? When they take the TV remote from you?
"Oregon juror jailed for texting during trial": He was held in contempt, depsite his claim he was simply requesting a state-issued treadmill. "Mmm! Taste of beer triggers good feelings in the brain": The findings are not surprising, scientists say. Well, there you go. And now those workers who were caught drinking beer while working on the 520 bridge construction project last year are working on their science-based defense.
"Dayton Air Show nixes plan for atomic bomb reenactment": Otherwise it would have been revolting, and held in contempt.
"Dubai adds Ferrari to police bling patrol": It joins the department's even pricier Lamborghini, which will patrol through Dubai's ritzy tourist zones. Further plans, AP reports, include converting the classic American muscle car Camaro model into a fleet of regular squad cars. (Since you are wondering, the price of gas in the United Arab Emirates is $1.88 a gallon.) The real question, however, is when will an enterprising Hollywood TV producer decide to set a cop show in Dubai? (Or at least an episode of the reality show "COPS.")
"Neanderthals lacked social skills": If it was the cause of their extinction, then aren't a great deal of humans are also at risk? Or in contempt?
Hold yourself and others in high esteem this week.
Carol MacPherson: 425-339-3472, cmacpherson@heraldnet.com

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