"Yes," said community college students in unison. "Hooray. Now we will be freed from crippling student loan debt a few months before retirement rather than after."
Cue "Ride of the Valkyries": An Army colonel has apologized for several low-flying military helicopters that buzzed the Olympic Peninsula town of Port Angeles late Thursday night. Initially no one took responsibility for the operation and city leaders had been given no advance notice. Army officials called the incident "completely unacceptable," and stressed it was only a training drill.
Glenn Beck and other conspiracy theorists were assured that had this been an actual U.N. Black Helicopter Citizen Round-Up they would have been instructed to report to the nearest FEMA relocation camp.
How do you know when your Twinkie's ripe? Although Hostess had said that its Twinkies and other snack cakes wouldn't go on sale nationwide until Monday, Wal-Mart and other retailers announced they would start selling the treat as early as Sunday morning.
Hostess advised against eating the Twinkies before Monday because the snack cake's preservatives, which now give Twinkies a shelf life of 45 days, need time to mature for the flavors to fully develop.
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