The Herald of Everett, Washington
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Herald staff | jbauer@heraldnet.com
Published: Friday, August 23, 2013, 12:01 a.m.

The 'X-Files' was already taken

Please tell us Leonard Nimoy is narrating: The Science Channel premieres a new series Wednesday, "The Unexplained Files," which will detail events that remain a mystery, such as the 1978 disappearance of a plane following the pilot's report of a UFO.

Other unexplained phenomena in upcoming episodes include: Why the deep voice of a narrator makes a pseudo-documentary more believable; why no one thought of sharknados before this summer; and what the History Channel would do for programming if Hitler had never existed.

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You're as cold as ice: The anthem rock band Foreigner, whose hits in the late '70s and early '80s included, "I Want to Know What Love Is" and "Juke Box Hero." is scheduled to perform at 7 p.m. Sunday at the Tulalip Amphitheatre.

Maybe we heard this wrong, but guys with mullets or permed hair get in for half price. If the mullet or permed hair is your own, you get in free.

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It's funny when Michael Scott says it: His resignation confirmed, San Diego Mayor Bob Filner was seen cleaning out his office, forced out of office by a sexual harassment lawsuit and his penchant for inappropriate comments.

San Diego's women responded with a collective "good riddance," to which Filner, D-Ick, Just Ick, replied out of habit, "That's what she said."

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