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Herald staff | jbauer@heraldnet.com
Published: Saturday, August 24, 2013, 12:01 a.m.

Ah’m Bahtmahn, and Ah’m wicked pissah

Pahk da Bahtmahbile, Rahbin: The reaction from fanboys and others on the Internet has been as swift as it's been negative: Few are interested in seeing Boston native Ben Affleck play the Dahk Knight (sorry), Batman, when he and Superman team up in a 2015 movie for Warner Bros.

Boy, they're really going to be upset when they learn Wonder Woman is going to be played by Roseanne Barr.

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It looks like you're trying to replace your CEO. Can I help you with that? With Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer set to retire in a year, the question already is being asked who might replace him as the software giant continues a reorganization announced a month ago.

What Microsoft needs is someone who knows the company's history, is personable, efficient and full of helpful ideas. We nominate Clippy, the Microsoft Office paperclip personal assistant.

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Even cheaper than buying blanks: A small town in Georgia is backing away from an ordinance that mandates gun ownership for every head of household. In a settlement with a gun-control group, the town agreed to add a provision saying the ordinance was not enforceable and would never be enforced.

"Eureka!" cried every member of Congress. "Now we can pass laws, add a clause that says they won't be enforced, and look like we're actually getting something done."

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