Hush-hush

It’s the secret thing: Companies such as Coca-Cola and Kentucky Fried Chicken like to play up the notion that their products’ ingredients must be closely guarded secrets and kept locked away in vaults amid security theater that would do the TSA proud.

The Buzz believes that if a safecracker broke into that Coke vault and got a gander at what goes in the soft drink, pretty much all he’d see is a pile of Iowa corn, a couple of drops of food coloring, and a few powdery substances with unpronounceable names.

Help wanted: Microsoft’s next chief executive officer will need expertise in product development and strategic vision — and that’s a tall order, executive recruiters say.

Also required: the ability to quickly deactivate the security system at Bill Gates’ Medina mansion before the flying killer security robots are released.

The Sport of Kings: A group in Everett has embraced a new twist on polo, the sport of choice among the crowned heads of Europe. Instead of horses, these guys ride bicycles.Bike polo looks like a blast, but it likely will never catch on with the royals. Because the only sillier thing than monarchy is monarchy riding bicycles.

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff