A man of letters

A man of letters

Channel-surfing the vast cultural wasteland: David Letterman, now the longest-tenured talk show host on late-night TV has extended his contract with CBS and will remain at the “Late Show” until 2015, giving him a year to compete head-to-head with Jimmy Kimmel on ABC and Jimmy Fallon on NBC (Page B4).

Herewith, the Top 10 reasons Letterman is sticking around:

No. 10. Not tired of making jokes about not winning an Emmy each year.

No. 9. Doesn’t want the guilt of an unemployed Paul Shaffer on his conscience.

No. 8. Hasn’t even scratched the surface of Stupid Human Tricks.

No. 7. CBS’ great dental coverage.

No. 6. Only just recently nailed the pronunciation of his boss’ name, Leslie Moonves.

No. 5. Paul repeating punch lines never gets old.

No. 4. Needs an excuse to avoid joining Jay Leno for a road trip when he retires.

No. 3. Won’t run for public office; too many idiots in Congress as it is.

No. 2. Holding out hope for that elusive interview with Mitt Romney.

And the No. 1 reason David Letterman is sticking around: Kinda likes the idea of being the filling in a late-night Jimmy sandwich.

—Jon Bauer, Herald staff

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Opinion

Students make their way through a portion of a secure gate a fence at the front of Lakewood Elementary School on Tuesday, March 19, 2024 in Marysville, Washington. Fencing the entire campus is something that would hopefully be upgraded with fund from the levy. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Editorial: Levies in two north county districts deserve support

Lakewood School District is seeking approval of two levies. Fire District 21 seeks a levy increase.

Eco-nomics: What to do for Earth Day? Be a climate hero

Add the good you do as an individual to what others are doing and you will make a difference.

Comment: Setting record strraight on 3 climate activism myths

It’s not about kids throwing soup at artworks. It’s effective messaging on the need for climate action.

People gather in the shade during a community gathering to distribute food and resources in protest of Everett’s expanded “no sit, no lie” ordinance Sunday, May 14, 2023, at Clark Park in Everett, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Comment: The crime of homelessness

The Supreme Court hears a case that could allow cities to bar the homeless from sleeping in public.

toon
Editorial: A policy wonk’s fight for a climate we can live with

An Earth Day conversation with Paul Roberts on climate change, hope and commitment.

Snow dusts the treeline near Heather Lake Trailhead in the area of a disputed logging project on Tuesday, April 11, 2023, outside Verlot, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Editorial: Move ahead with state forests’ carbon credit sales

A judge clears a state program to set aside forestland and sell carbon credits for climate efforts.

Harrop: Debate remains around legalized abortion and crime

More study will be needed to determine how abortion, poverty, race and crime interact.

toon
Editorial cartoons for Sunday, April 21

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

Keep paramedics by passing levy for Fire District 21

I live in and pay taxes in rural Arlington. Our fire department… Continue reading

Prevention still best medicine for kidney disease

This well-presented story from facts shared of stage-5 kidney disease needs to… Continue reading

Saunders: Iran’s attacks of Israel happened on Biden’s watch

We can’t know if a Trump presidency would have made a difference. But we know what happened Oct. 7.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.