But he's still in the running for the Chris Farley look-alike contest: In today's installment of the Rob Ford Show, the Toronto mayor and human slow-motion train wreck vowed "outright war" on the city council for stripping him of most of his powers. In the same breath, Ford also said he's smoked crack "maybe once."
In playing down his drug use, Hizzoner was clearly signalling that he has no interest in competing for the coveted title of World's Fattest Crack Addict.
Speaking of politicians and drugs: A Florida congressman is scheduled to be arraigned today on cocaine possession charges in Washington.
If convicted, Rep. Henry "Trey" Radel, a Republican, faces up to six months in jail, a $1,000 fine, and the coveted title of America's Very Own Rob Ford.
Kids these days: Studies around the world find that kids today don't run as fast or as far as their parents did when they were young, indicating that children's fitness has declined worldwide over the last three decades.
That's right, you little punks. Back in our day, we ran the mile in five minutes -- barefoot. In the snow. Before the sun came up. And we liked it.
-- Mark Carlson, Herald staff
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