Life only follows Plan A in books

My third-grader explained to me what it takes to read, summarize and write about a book. “First you read it,” he said. “Then you regurgitate it, and then you regurgitate it again. So basically, what you end up doing is barfing up barf.”

“Good,” I told my son. “I’m glad you’re learning how to barf up barf now, because that’s a needed skill for life.”

Learn it. Think about it. Do it. Then do it again in a whole new way.

Processing ideas and applying them to reality is an essential part of adulthood. Thank goodness a weekly essay isn’t required (at least for most of us).

Take cooking, for example. This week, you roast a chicken. Night one has all the bells and whistles; chicken, potatoes, carrots and onions. Then, on night two, you mix the leftover chicken into a casserole with cheese and broccoli. A few days later, you make soup from the remains of the chicken carcass.

“This tastes like barf!” your kids say.

“Exactly,” you answer with pride. “Aren’t I good at meal planning?”

Taking the ideal and making it real is important in home decorating, too. Every time you open a Pottery Barn holiday catalog, you’re inspired. A few moments later, you laugh with scorn. You’ve never seen a front porch wrapped in a myrtle and olive leaf garland in your entire life!

But that catalog gets you thinking. Maybe you could re-create the look with cedar cut from your back yard.

You’re all ready to get the clippers until you look over and see your Christmas tree bottom loaded with ornaments. Your kids “helped” a lot with the decorating.

“Forget Pottery Barn,” you think. “I’d settle for basic symmetry.”

Or here’s another one. Have you ever read one of those books about personal finance that advises saving for the holidays in advance, one $20 bill at a time?

That sounds great in theory. So in June, you plan for success. You squirrel away an envelope in your sock drawer. Twenty-dollar bills start adding up fast. You’re definitely on track for a Christmas that doesn’t hurt.

Then the plan barfs. Back-to-school shopping needs extra funds. Flu shots cost more than $100 because your kids want the nose spray instead of the jab. There’s a dashboard light on your car that won’t turn off.

Your Santa fund develops a serious leak.

But it’s OK. You’ve got this! You take a deep breath and regurgitate the plan. You crank down the thermostat, cull your Christmas card list, and switch the holiday menu from rib roast to chicken potpie because you’ve still got some leftover chicken.

Resourcefulness is almost as good as a jingle-bells war chest.

I think I read about that in a book somewhere …

Jennifer Bardsley blogs at teachingmybabytoread.com.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Life

The Ford Maverick has seating for five passengers. Its cargo bed is 4.5 feet long. (Photo provided by Ford)
2024 Ford Maverick compact pickup undergoes a switch

The previous standard engine is now optional. The previous optional engine is now standard.

Lynnwood
New Jersey company acquires Lynnwood Land Rover dealership

Land Rover Seattle, now Land Rover Lynnwood, has been purchased by Holman, a 100-year-old company.

Matt Stewart, left, and Janice Ayala, right, spin during country dance lessons at Normanna Lodge on Tuesday, April 9, 2024 in Everett, Washington. Normanna Lodge will be hosting country dance next Tuesday during PBR Stampede. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Everett Stampede aims to become a Western-themed tradition

The new weeklong event combines a popular Professional Bull Riders event with live music, two-step dancing and more.

Lewis the cat weaves his way through a row of participants during Kitten Yoga at the Everett Animal Shelter on Saturday, April 13, 2024, in Everett, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Downward cat? At kitten yoga in Everett, it’s all paw-sitive vibes

It wasn’t a stretch for furry felines to distract participants. Some cats left with new families — including a reporter.

Music, theater and more: What’s happening in Snohomish County

Edmonds Center for the Arts plays host to comedian Don Friesen on Friday and Grammy-nominated vocal group säje on Sunday.

2024 Honda Civic Type R (Photo provided by Honda)
2024 Honda Civic Type R

Developed in Japan, and track-tested around the world, the Civic R Type delivers 315 horsepower and 310 lb-ft of torque, making it Honda’s most powerful production vehicle in the U.S.

Suomenlinna
Soul sisters Helsinki and Tallinn are pearls of the Baltic

While they have their own stories to tell, these cities share a common heritage of Swedish and Russian influences.

My trip to Iraq was canceled, so why can’t I get my $7,590 back?

When Diane Gottlieb’s tour of Iraq is canceled, the tour operator offers her a voucher for a future trip. But she wants a refund.

How to help your youngster become a successful adult

Surprisingly, it has little to do with how early you learn the alphabet, start reading, or learn the capitals of every state.

The 2024 Kia Telluride midsize SUV is available in 10 trim levels, all sporting the same V6 engine. (Photo provided by Kia)
2024 Kia Telluride makes every drive a pleasure

The midsize SUV has more going for it than many others in its class.

The 2024 Subaru WRX is equipped with a turbocharged four-cylinder engine generating 271 horsepower. (Photo provided by Subaru)
2024 Subaru WRX lineup adds a new TR model

The TR trim performs like the other WRX models, only better.

Carrying the Newcomb College name, this rare sewing bag fetched a bundle

Who made this linen and silk bag featuring a Louisiana landscape is unknown. The quality of its craftmanship, however, is clear.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.