The Herald of Everett, Washington
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Published: Monday, December 16, 2013, 9:56 a.m.
The Lighter Side of the News


Everett, a city of people and streets and stuff

In a Tuesday article about Boeing, a New York Times reporter described Everett as "a low-rise waterfront city of brick and wood 25 miles north of Seattle." Don't forget the pavement. And electricity. Lest anyone Back East get the wrong idea. And don't forget cities of glass and steel to the south, and those of straw and mud to the east, and snow and ice to the north.
"Everett, low-rise city of brick and wood." Hmm. It kind of grows on you. (It definitely beats being a low-rise waterfront city of barred windows and aluminum siding.) And the city needs a slogan, since it is no longer the "low-rise waterfront city of smokestacks." Let's look at the rest of the low-rise headlines.
•"Most oppose in-flight phone calls": Except those, you know, who don't. (AND THEY TALK LIKE THIS.)
"Boeing to shift 800-1,200 research jobs out of Seattle area": In April, the company also announced plans to lay off as many as 700 engineers this year. And yet one of the company's ongoing complaints/demands is that there aren't enough qualified workers, and that state universities need to produce more engineers... That just doesn't add up, according to the old wooden abacus we use here in Everett.
"Funko seeks larger digs in Everett": The company makes those fun bobbleheads and other collectibles. The company has licensing contracts to create bobbleheads with Marvel and DC comics, Disney and Star Wars. Some of their most popular bobbleheads at the moment come from hit television shows including "The Big Bang Theory" " and "The Walking Dead."
To be fair to the New York Times reporter, this news broke after his visit to Everett, now known as a "low-rise waterfront city ... of brick and Funko!"
(A very sincere thank you to Funko, for choosing to stay in Snohomish County!)
(Perhaps we should have an at-large seat on the Everett City Council for a resident bobblehead...)
(And looking ahead, when Comcast's naming rights contract expires at the Everett Events Center, could there be a better fit than the Funko Center? Every night is bobblehead night!)
•"Robots so realistic they can deny they're bots": Great. Just what we need. More liars.
"5 Creepy tools she uses to stalk you online": This is a headline from Men's Fitness magazine, hence the use of the female pronoun. But rest assured, the creepy tools used by stalkers are employed by both genders.
"Big Brother spying is reaching scary levels": Didn't we surpass "scary" several levels ago?
"Spies infiltrate a fantasy realm of online games": Ditto. That dragon left the dungeon a long time ago.
"Analyst: Don't expect a la carte cable TV anytime soon": Oh, sure, technology (the government's, Google's and everyone else) can track your every move. But allow you to pick and choose cable channels? So sorry. That's beyond our current technical ability.
"Applebee's to install 100,000 tablets at tables": The E La Carte Presto tablets will allow patrons to pay from their seats or add food and beverages to their existing orders. Eventually, the gadgets will also feature an expanded lineup of games, video streaming capabilities, music options and social media interaction. Wow. Just like dinner at home.
To some, it sounds mostly like a great way to spread germs; but hey, to each his/or her own. Speaking of which, if Applebee's can offer "E La Carte Presto" tablets, why can't can't cable TV companies?
Have a high-rise week, no matter what city you live in.

Carol MacPherson: 425-339-3472, cmacpherson@heraldnet.com

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Herald Editorial Board

Jon Bauer, Opinion Editor: jbauer@heraldnet.com

Carol MacPherson, Editorial Writer: cmacpherson@heraldnet.com

Neal Pattison, Executive Editor: npattison@heraldnet.com

Josh O'Connor, Publisher: joconnor@heraldnet.com

Have your say

Feel strongly about something? Share it with the community by writing a letter to the editor. Send letters by e-mail to letters@heraldnet.com, by fax to 425-339-3458 or mail to The Herald - Letters, P.O. Box 930, Everett, WA 98206. Include your name, address and daytime phone number. (We'll only publish your name and hometown.) We reserve the right to edit letters, but if you keep yours to 250 words or less, we won’t ask you to shorten it. If your letter is published, please wait 30 days before submitting another. Have a question about letters? Contact Carol MacPherson at cmacpherson@heraldnet.com or 425-339-3472.