Call before you dig: The state Transportation Department is drilling shafts in front of its tunnel-digging machine, Bertha, to remove a metal pipe that is blocking its path. The pipe was left by a state contractor in 2002.
With 9/10ths of its tunneling ahead of it, there’s still a good chance Bertha will hit other obstacles, including the Forgotten Tomb of Ye Olde Curiosity Shop, a clam gun dropped by Ivar Haglund, a cache of 1962 World’s Fair souvenirs and cask of lutefisk (still edible) buried by Norwegians in 1880.
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Angling to join the Globetrotters? The NBA has fined New York Knicks guard J.R. Smith $50,000 for trying to untie the shoe laces of an opponent during a free-throw attempt.
Just a warning for Seattle Seahawk running back Marshawn Lynch: If any New Orleans Saints defenders’ shoes are untied during Saturday’s game, the NFL apparently knows where to find you.
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A little fuzzy on meaning of “public transit”: A Granite Falls man has admitted to police that he stole 100 cars since August, all of which he took because he needed a ride. On one occasion, he stole a car because he needed to get to court.
Next time, pal, take the bus. Scratch that. Ride the bus.
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