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Look at this classroom, filled with humiliating punishments: A teacher who used a “Wheel of Misfortune” device to discipline her students will keep her job despite complaints from parents. Misbehaving students spun the wheel to determine their punishment.

The school district determined that the teacher didn’t really want to hurt or embarrass students. Besides, some kids were inspired to check out the real “Wheel of Fortune,” which led to priceless bonding time with their grandparents after supper.

Binders full of women: Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella has again apologized to employees for his gaffe about women seeking pay raises, and announced that all workers will receive training on inclusive workplaces.

In the company-wide memo, Nadella also said that anyone who knows hot chicks who want to work for Microsoft should send the candidates’ photos to him.

Don’t know much about history: On this day in 1867, the United States took possession of Alaska from Russia.

Russian president Vladimir Putin marked the anniversary by ordering his top scientists to invent a time machine so he can go back 147 years and prevent the deal.

— Mark Carlson and John McCartney, Herald staff

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