Children find forever families on National Adoption Day

EVERETT — The girl spent 1,052 days in foster care.

On the 1,053rd day, wearing a new dress and glittery gold shoes, Hilah McNeal held up a homemade cardboard sign that read: “Today I was adopted.”

The 3-year-old girl wrapped her arms around her oldest sister as Todd and Mary McNeal legally welcomed three new daughters into their family on Friday as part of the Snohomish County’s National Adoption Day celebration.

Along with Hilah, the McNeals adopted two sisters, Mariela, 12, and Ana, 11. The Mill Creek couple have been foster parents to all three. Hilah was an infant when she came into their home. The older girls have been with the McNeals since 2013.

The McNeals have been foster parents for a decade and provided a home for about 100 children.

“It’s just a way to live our faith,” Todd McNeal said.

He reflected on a passage from the Bible in which Jesus spoke of the blessings for those who clothed, fed and housed strangers.

“To be a Christian is more than going to church. If we serve God, we really want to serve him,” Todd McNeal said.

For the McNeals that means making room for children, in their home and hearts.

Friday marked the 10th adoption day celebration in Snohomish County.

National child advocates launched the first adoption day in 2000 primarily to bring awareness to the thousands of foster children waiting for permanent homes.

Currently, there are more than 1,700 foster children available for adoption in Washington. More than 8,600 children live in foster care.

Typically adoptions are done behind closed doors, but Friday the courtrooms were open and packed with beaming parents, grandparents and siblings as children were promised “forever families.”

In all 21 families adopted 33 children Friday, Superior Court Judge David Kurtz said. More than 130 children were expected to be adopted during this week’s statewide events. Nearly 1,500 children have been adopted during the statewide celebrations.

Yet during the same time, 1,003 Washington children aged out of foster care without ever being adopted.

Attorney Andrew Schneidler said humans need permanency.

“It’s when the body and mind go, ‘Ahhh, I’m home,’” Schneidler said.

Twelve years ago he became a dad when he and his wife adopted a child. Since then they’ve adopted two more children. He also started the Children’s Law Center of Washington, a nonprofit that offers free and low-cost legal services to help children find permanent homes.

Schneidler encouraged parents Friday to support each other. It isn’t easy raising children. He also spoke to the kids.

“The people who brought you to court today are crazy about you,” Schneidler said.

The McNeals were raising their own three children, Katie, Cody and Abby, when a friend asked them to take in his young niece. They adopted the girl, Jordynn, about eight years ago.

There were always more children who needed a safe place to land so the McNeals kept their home open, taking in kids when they could.

That led them to start Hand in Hand, a nonprofit that operates Safe Place and Selah Homes. Safe Place is a short-term emergency shelter for children who have been removed from their homes because of unsafe conditions. Selah Homes takes in children for up to 28 days.

The McNeals hope that the extra time can help social workers find a permanent home for children so they don’t get moved around. They hope to help establish similar programs in every county in the state.

“This is truly a special family,” Judge Kurtz said Friday.

Mary McNeal joked that while she doesn’t have a college degree she does have degrees in diaper changing and baby formula mixing. She is just meant to care for children. The payoff — snuggles, smiles and seeing kids flourish.

“What better job?” McNeal said.

Sure, it’s not easy to let the children go once they’ve been in their home, but it isn’t about her feelings.

“It’s about the kids,” she said.

The McNeals, both 48, hadn’t planned on adopting any more children but their newest daughters became family. They also had developed relationships with the girls’ relatives.

Hilah’s mom was young and wanted the best for her child, Todd McNeal said. The woman will spend Thanksgiving with them.

“We are so proud of her. She’s doing so well, making good decisions,” he said. “It’s almost like were adopting them both.”

The other two girls have been through some hard times, but they are the “sweetest girls” and resilient, Todd McNeal said.

They asked the McNeals to adopt them not long after they moved in. The McNeals want their children to remain connected to their biological families. There are visits to see grandmas, aunts and cousins.

They plan to keep giving foster children a home.

“It’s just a part of who our family is and we want to instill that in the children,” Todd McNeal said.

Their eldest daughter, now 25, and her husband are foster parents.

“This is the hardest thing we have ever done in our lives but it is the most rewarding,” Todd McNeal said.

“It’s not our job to fix the kids. Our job is to give them the opportunity to have a good, productive life,” he said.

The McNeals are a soccer family. All the girls play. The youngest will start in January. They spend a lot of time outdoors, hiking and biking. They live on a large piece of property where they raise pigs and chickens. There are lots of giggles with five girls in the house.

There is some good-natured ribbing, too. The girls tease their dad that he will need a cane to walk his youngest daughter down the aisle on her wedding day.

The McNeals were surrounded by family and friends when they vowed to care for their three newest daughters. The family posed for photographs, squeezing together to fit everyone in. There was plenty of room.

Later downstairs in the jury lounge, the girls found the snacks and toys.

Ana was impressed by the cookies. Hilah played with her brand new teddy bear. Mariela thought it was funny when her parents’ lawyer mispronounced her middle name. People make mistakes, she said.

The girls wore new dresses and smiles. It was a good day.

“I finally found a family who loves me,” Mariela said.

Diana Hefley: 425-339-3463; hefley@heraldnet.com. Twitter: @dianahefley

Fostering a child

For more information about becoming a foster parent, call 888-543-7414 or go to the state Department of Social and Health Services’ we site at www.dshs.wa.gov.

Anyone interested in volunteering or donating to Hand in Hand should go to www.handinhandkids.org or call 425-374-2461.

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