“Goddamn time-traveling robots!”
Perfectly expressing my own sentiments, the line comes midway through the fifth installment of the “Terminator” series, now essentially a sitcom with large explosions and much flying glass.
Yes, you can pay for IMAX and 3-D if you insist, but the writing here is small-scale: grumpy disapproving robot Pops (Arnold Schwarzenegger), feisty, independent daughter figure Sarah (Emilia Clarke), and her nervous, bumbling suitor Kyle (Jai Courtney).
The latter has been dispatched from 2029 to 1984 by his secret son John (Jason Clarke), but I won’t bore you with any more of the franchise’s titanium-plated mythology, which requires heavy loads of exposition. Why bother? No one on the planet doesn’t know these movies — or at least the first two good ones. James Cameron is long gone, so can’t we skip the self-importance?
I say sitcom, yet “Genisys” — despite flirting with San Fran start-up culture — isn’t nearly up-to-date enough with its technology jokes.
“I’m old, not obsolete,” growls Pops, even as his joints grow arthritic and his hair gray while following and protecting Sarah from 1972 to 2017. (And about that: There’s so much time-skipping, forward and back, and so many alternate-reality characters that I’ll skip the summary.)
Only Schwarzenegger has any charisma here, which really is a funny inversion of his automaton performance of ‘84. Then he was perfect for the role because he couldn’t act. Now he doesn’t need to; he just is, like a late-career John Wayne.
Our trio is pursued first by a silver-morphing T-1000 (yawn) and then by a hybrid man-machine creature that heals itself with fractal metal splinters that can be scattered by magnet. It’s cool, it’s self-aware, but it also grows tedious with the lectures. (“There truly is no fate!”) Oh, and Skynet even has its own avatar now, cheekbones familiar from British TV.
But again, why bother? Why not try something new instead of recycled jokes and feature bloat? In its best action moments (plunging helicopter, plunging Pops, plunging school bus, etc.), the movie reminds you how George Miller’s “Mad Max” reboot jettisons the backstory to make the chase that much lighter and faster. “Fury Road” moves relentlessly forward; “Genisys” just feeds upon its own franchise.
After smarter, sleeker recent depictions of future technology (“Her” comes to mind, or even “Lucy”), the lumbering “Genisys” represents a failure of modern product design. The form factor, like Schwarzenegger’s CGI-retouched visage, is stuck in the ’80s — all clanging metal and showering sparks. (Sarah’s favorite keepsake is even a cassette player.)
A car chase is still a car chase; and a rain of bullets means nothing when we know all these characters will be rebooted in more sequels. Pops pointedly receives an upgrade, but he hardly seems new.
Where’s Jonathan Ive when you need him?
“Terminator: Genisys”
Not much new here — from the script to the technology. Arnold Schwarzenegger reprises his role as the Terminator, with Sarah (Emilia Clarke) and John Connor (Jason Clarke) tagging along. The convoluted and time-skipping narrative is hard to follow and the depicitions of future technology laughable.
Rating: PG-13, for intense sequences of sci-fi action violence and gunplay throughout, partial nudity and brief language
Showing: Alderwood Mall, Cinebarre Mountlake Terrace, Everett Stadium, Galaxy Monroe, Marysville, Stanwood Cinemas, Meridian, Sundance Cinemas Seattle, Thornton Place Stadium 14 + Imax, Woodinville, Cascade Mall
Talk to us
> Give us your news tips.
> Send us a letter to the editor.
> More Herald contact information.
