Emptying the kitchen — and our stomachs

I hope you have already eaten breakfast because this story might gross you out.

After reading Marie Kondo’s book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, the Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing,” I embarked on a gigantic house-cleaning rampage. If an object didn’t bring me joy I donated it or threw it away. Two weeks and multiple bags to charity later, our closets had never been cleaner — which was good, because we had a moth problem, despite the presence of cedar sachets.

Once our wardrobes were in order, I shifted my focus to organizing paper products like books and office supplies. Then I tackled the kitchen.

I started with the refrigerator, scanning every item for expiration dates. I tossed stone-ground mustard from 2013, a jar of roasted peppers with mold on it and lots of butter remnants wrapped in paper. I realized that our refrigerator, which I had always thought was poorly designed, actually had plenty of storage space once I got rid of rotting food.

I went through the spice cabinet and threw away so many spices of questionable expiration dates that the air smelled like gingerbread and curry were at war.

Next I moved to the cupboard that houses pasta, jars of spaghetti sauce, salad dressing and dried beans. I found a couple of ranch dressing packets that were expired, but nothing too disgusting … or so I thought.

That’s when, from the corner of my eye, I saw something small, brown and wiggling. It was a worm munching through a bag of quinoa!

Of course, I did the only sensible thing possible. I screamed at the top of my lungs and danced around the kitchen doing “get-them-off-me shakes,” even though the worm wasn’t touching me.

My husband raced the quinoa out of the house and into the garbage. “It’s just one worm,” he said. “Big deal.”

Still, I wasn’t taking any chances. I threw away a bunch more food, washed the shelf liners in hot soapy water and sprayed the cupboard with disinfectant. The next morning I went to the library to clear my head.

When I came home I found the kitchen torn up and my husband gripping Clorox spray like it was a weapon. “You don’t want to know what was in the flour cabinet,” he said grimly. “I’ve discovered the source of our moth problem.”

It turns out those brown things flying around our house for the past couple of months were Indian meal moths. Their larvae thrived on everything from oatmeal to almonds. Wasn’t it nice of me to provide them with an organic buffet?

We spent all Saturday sterilizing the cabinets. We threw away so much food that our trash barrel maxed out. Anything that could be saved was sealed away in Tupperware containers. Every cabinet were ruthlessly organized.

That night when it was dinnertime there wasn’t much left to cook — which was fine because all of us had lost our appetites.

Jennifer Bardsley is an Edmonds mom of two. Find her on Twitter @jennbardsley and at www.heraldnet.com/ibrakeformoms and teachingmybabytoread.com.

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