Let’s take a tour through the headlines:
“N. Korea celebrates new time zone, ‘Pyongyang Time’?” Well, why not? When you create your own reality, it certainly deserves its own time zone. And definitely its own Apple Watch. (And for those who like it old school, the country offers Mickey Mouse watches and cuckcoo clocks, the faces and birds of which are replaced with the visage of North Koren leader Kim Jong-un.)
“Comrade capitalism: North Korea seeks investors for brewery”: What time is it? On Pyongyang Time, it always time for a Pyongyang Porter. Other beers on tap if funding is found: Kim Jong-un Imperial Stout. North Korean Bitter Bitter. A Taste of Nutrition Hefeweizen. Dennis Rodman Craft Rye. Golden Tyrant. The Sun of the 21st Century IPA. Dear Leader Lager.
“YOPO: New Jersey brewer releasing Pope Francis-inspired beer”: The batch of hoppy pale ale is called YOPO, “You Only Pope Once.” To which Pope Francis says thank goodness. Go ahead, lift a pint of Pontiff Pilsner, and come up with beverage names to commemorate the Pope Francis’ visit to U.S. in September. Papal Pale Ale. (Not so interested in the pope? Any well known person in any arena will do for this exercise. The Clint Dempsey Draught, for example.)
“Back to school: how will wearables fit in?” Why, back my day, wearables were known as clothes.
“Disney apologizes over Nagasaki tweet”: Some companies are slower than others to realize that despite all the hype, the endlessly touted “social media” outlets are often the opposite of a boon for the business.
“Harvard student loses Facebook gig for app that shows flaws”: The student launched a browser application from his dorm room that exploited privacy flaws on the company’s mobile messenger. So he was fired from his internship. Silly Facebook. Even the FBI, CIA and Homeland Security know these are exactly the people you are supposed to hire.
“Odd suckers: Octopus species that’s weirdly social, romantic”: Well, when you’ve got all those arms, you know, things are going to get handsy.
“IVF with frozen eggs may not work as well, study finds”: Wonder if the hosts of the currently popular “egg freezing cocktail parties” will manage to work that information into their sales pitch.
“Madison-based company celebrates success of space lettuce”: The astronauts, not so much.
“Why do we always proclaim that the novel is dead?”: Because the naysayers have to take a break from declaring newspapers dead once in a while.
“The Grateful Dead is resurrected once more, this time with John Mayer”: Yes, the reports of their demise have been greatly exaggerated … by themselves. The better to sell out yet another “final” concert.
Start your own time zone this week, and cap it off with your own beer.
Carol MacPherson: 425-339-3472; cmacpherson@heraldnet.com.
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