Seahawks uniforms still score negative points

Analysis of the Seahawks preseason so far: That Nike logo set off by neon on the uniform sleeves drives me more bonkers than ever. However, an updated eyeglass prescription has allowed me to see the small word “Seahawks” on the stripe near the collar bone for the first time, which doesn’t improve things at all.

New. (Not so obviously Nike)Uniforms. Now.

Let’s shoulder our way through this week’s headlines:

Women are microwaving their armpits to get rid of sweat and hair”: Uh, yuck. But just last week wasn’t the trend to dye underarm hair? I can ‘t keep up. Anyway, this would-be fad fits most criteria for a so-called beauty trend: It’s super costly, and it poses myriad possible side effects, which, according to Dr. Jessica Weiser of the New York Dermatology Group, could entail “significant pain and swelling after treatment which is variable in severity and also in duration ranging from one week to a few weeks, and from minor swelling to grapefruit-like massive swelling in the underarm.”

And then there’s this, which might really mess with the whole concept, exposing it for its medical dubiousness: Weiser also cited the possibility of the body trying to compensate in other areas for the loss of sweating as it tries to regulate body temperature.

In other words, you are going to sweat more in places other than your underarms. And no, you cannot microwave all of your sweat glands, or you will die.

Amazon chief says employees lacking empathy will be instantly purged”: Just wanted to share the funny headline on The New Yorker’s “Borowitz Report” by Andy Borowitz. (As Abraham Lincoln said, “I laugh because I must not cry, that is all, that is all.”)

Amazon’s campus is going to the dogs, and here’s why that’s a good thing”: Because they are trained as comfort dogs?

Are you an ambivert?”: Which is not to be confused with the unflattering nickname given to some Amazon employees.

Diddy says he is banned from UCLA football practices”: (His son is on the team.) Which just goes to show that a rapper, record producer, actor, and entrepreneur can be a helicopter parent with the best of them. Puff Daddy indeed.

(Sean Diddy Combs offers this quote straight from the over-involved parental playbook, “You have to be there for your kids 110 percent,” Diddy said in a radio interview. “As a father or a mother anybody can relate to if you feel like you have to go and straighten something out for your child.” Yes, but not when that child in in college.

Don’t sweat the preseason. Don’t microwave it, either.

Carol MacPherson: 425-339-3472; cmacpherson@heraldnet.com.

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