In our current, “Nouveau niche” societal era, everyone can ensconce themselves in the coziness of a like-minded group, to the exclusion of all others. But with so many choices, how does one know which niche to pick? Let’s categorize the headlines:
“Dating sites that will find you a British man or a gluten-free mate”: But not both? (There isn’t yet a dating site for people seeking gluten-free British mates … but never underestimate “consumer” demand.) According to the BBC report, other quite specific dating sites that have popped up include: “Bristlr, an online dating site for beard enthusiasts, womenbehindbars.com and mulletpassions.com.” Certainly there must be some overlap between these three bearded, imprisoned and mulleted groups. How does one choose the dominant niche in a mate? Ah, the mullety mystery of attraction.
“Oscar Mayer releases Sizzl, a dating app for bacon lovers”: Does your love of bacon override your other needs when seeking a partner? (But if your date likes bacon super crisp, and you like it a little more chewy, is that a deal breaker? Or a reason for an even more specific site?) But wait a second, bacon. What about decades of advertising that told us: “I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner/That is what I truly wish to be/cause if I were a Oscar Mayer Weiner … everyone would be in love with me.” Sorry, Oscar Mayer Weiner, you’ve been dumped. Bacon is the new trophy meat.
“State confirms bluetongue disease in deer”: So no kissing deer. Or rather, so no kissing, deer. Oh, dear. Is there a dating site for homonym lovers and the comma challenged? Or those with fervent feelings regarding misused “quote marks”?
“The biology of crime: Low heart rate may predict criminal behavior, study says”: On the other hand, a low heart rate may predict a career as an elite athlete, Buddhist monk, firefighter, or a high-rise construction worker, or any other niche job that requires one to be calm and brave and/or meditative.
“Chinese president to visit Boeing operation in Everett”: And in keeping with the trend of Chinese visitors to our state, he’ll then buy a gazillion-dollar niche mansion in Medina, likely next door to Russell Wilson and Bill Gates.
“The real reason we need to stop trying to protect everyone’s feelings”: Because the niche “offenses” are impossible to keep up with, and developing even the littlest bit of thick skin will prove helpful when life’s real challenges come along? For example:
“Mother wants ‘The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks’ banned from son’s school but the author says she’s ‘confusing gynecology with pornography.’?” Not to mention missing the many important points in the book, which has to do with a rare and fascinating medical discovery at the cellular level, which happen to be Henrietta Lacks’ cells, used without her knowledge (which, among other things, leads to the polio vaccine); racism in the medical field and society; generational poverty; and the power of good journalism to bring truth to light, to name just a few. But never mind, the book-banning niche doesn’t listen, or by definition, read. So there we go.
Expand your niches this week.
Carol MacPherson: 425-339-3472; cmacpherson@heraldnet.com.
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