Some medical practices that offer the online “MyChart” feature now allow patients to send in a photo and/or “other attachments” with their health concern/question to help their care team figure out what to recommend next.
Likely, in most instances, this will be a boon to patient and provider. On the other hand, however, no doubt a minority of shots will cause even veteran medical personnel, despite having seen it all, to rue the invention of the “selfie stick…”
Stick out your tongue, say “ahhh” and let’s examine the headlines.
“Report: Selfies more dangerous than sharks”: Well, that makes perfect sense, considering that sharks confine themselves to the ocean, whereas selfie-takers are everywhere — in front of bison, cliffs, cars, whatever. Selfies of which may or may not be sent to your doctor, depending on your coverage. “Thank you for text. You have been diagnosed with a bear’s mouth around your head.”
“Fruits, veggies may be key to keeping unwanted weight off”: Really. As we used to say: Stop the presses!
“Man gets probation for selling fake Viagra, Cialis pills”: Probation? That is certainly not what used to be called a stiff sentence, or hard time. (For probation lasting more than four hours, call your doctor.)
“How does a pill go from $13.50 to $750 overnight?”: Speedily, and greedily.
“Congratulations, you have your own personal germ cloud”: But. But. But “aura” sounds so much more mysterious, cool and non-stinky.
“You can thank prehistoric fish for the enamel on your teeth”: They are not, however, responsible for your morning breath.
“A quarter of fish sold at markets contain man-made debris”: That’s right, go ahead and blame contemporary fish for your bad breath and your plastic blood levels. Another reason to clean up Puget Sound, not to mention the oceans, and not let industry dictate what pollution levels are “acceptable” in seafood.
“Apple car might be a disaster”: Well, of course they would bruise easily in a crash… Oh. That Apple. The iCar? How Googley of them.
“Carroll not concerned with Seahawks’ 0-2 start”: No. He has thousands and thousands of Seahawks fans, the “12s,” and Monday morning quarterbacks, to do that for him.
“Not even the Kardashians’ new Web sites are safe from cybersecurity woes”: What do they mean, “not even the Kardashians?” Like they are a family renowned for their anti-hacking computer genius?
“Consumers line up for Apple’s new iPhones”: And USAToday dutifully reports it as news. Snooze.
“Earth’s pull is ‘massaging’ our moon”: “Ooh that feels good on my craters. A little lower to the left, please,” Luna sighed.
Compliment the germ cloud of someone you love this week.
Carol MacPherson: 425-339-3472; cmacpherson@heraldnet.com.
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