The kids are all right with breaking up in person

When you read about teens and texting, it’s often about how they’re sexting and can’t look up long enough to have a face-to-face conversation.

But a recent Pew report suggests they’re pretty grown up when it comes to breakups. The study, “Teens, Technology and Romantic Relationships,” found that, on a scale of 1 to 10, teens think breaking up in person is the best way, followed by phone call and then text message.

Among teens with relationship experience, 62 percent have broken up with someone in person, the Pew researchers found, and 47 percent have endured an in-person breakup. Twenty-seven percent have broken up with someone over text and 31 percent have been dumped that way — about as common as breaking up over the phone. Then comes social media, with 18 percent of teens with dating experience having been dumped or dumping someone by sending a private social media message, changing their relationship status on Facebook or posting a status update.

These rates are higher than what Pew has found in studies of adults’ digital breakups, but not by much. For example, a 2013 Pew report found that 22 percent of 18- to 29-year-olds had broken up with someone by email, text or online message, while 28 percent had been dumped in those ways.

Amanda Lenhart, lead researcher on the 2015 Pew report, says teens might prefer to break up in person because, at that age, their parents are still helping them set the parameters for what to expect in relationships. And their parents didn’t have texting or social media as breakup options when they were teenagers.

Lenhart also noted that, since most teens are meeting in person and rarely online, they feel more compelled to break up in person. “It makes more sense because you’ll continue to be in community with that person,” she says, if you met at school or have mutual friends.

For adults meeting online, it’s easier to disappear when it doesn’t work out. Perhaps the “olds” could learn a thing or two from how the young fall in and out of love.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Local News

A firefighter stands in silence before a panel bearing the names of L. John Regelbrugge and Kris Regelbrugge during the ten-year remembrance of the Oso landslide on Friday, March 22, 2024, at the Oso Landslide Memorial in Oso, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
‘Flood of emotions’ as Oso Landslide Memorial opens on 10th anniversary

Friends, family and first responders held a moment of silence at 10:37 a.m. at the new 2-acre memorial off Highway 530.

Julie Petersen poses for a photo with images of her sister Christina Jefferds and Jefferds’ grand daughter Sanoah Violet Huestis next to a memorial for Sanoah at her home on March 20, 2024 in Arlington, Washington. Peterson wears her sister’s favorite color and one of her bangles. (Annie Barker / The Herald)
‘It just all came down’: An oral history of the Oso mudslide

Ten years later, The Daily Herald spoke with dozens of people — first responders, family, survivors — touched by the deadliest slide in U.S. history.

Victims of the Oso mudslide on March 22, 2014. (Courtesy photos)
Remembering the 43 lives lost in the Oso mudslide

The slide wiped out a neighborhood along Highway 530 in 2014. “Even though you feel like you’re alone in your grief, you’re really not.”

Director Lucia Schmit, right, and Deputy Director Dara Salmon inside the Snohomish County Department of Emergency Management on Friday, March 8, 2024, in Everett, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
How Oso slide changed local emergency response ‘on virtually every level’

“In a decade, we have just really, really advanced,” through hard-earned lessons applied to the pandemic, floods and opioids.

Ron and Gail Thompson at their home on Monday, March 4, 2024 in Oso, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
In shadow of scarred Oso hillside, mudslide’s wounds still feel fresh

Locals reflected on living with grief and finding meaning in the wake of a catastrophe “nothing like you can ever imagine” in 2014.

Everett mall renderings from Brixton Capital. (Photo provided by the City of Everett)
Topgolf at the Everett Mall? Mayor’s hint still unconfirmed

After Cassie Franklin’s annual address, rumors circled about what “top” entertainment tenant could be landing at Everett Mall.

Everett
Everett man sentenced to 3 years of probation for mutilating animals

In 2022, neighbors reported Blayne Perez, 35, was shooting and torturing wildlife in north Everett.

Dorothy Crossman rides up on her bike to turn in her ballot  on Tuesday, Aug. 1, 2023 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Everett leaders plan to ask voters for property tax increase

City officials will spend weeks hammering out details of a ballot measure, as Everett faces a $12.6 million deficit.

Starbucks employee Zach Gabelein outside of the Mill Creek location where he works on Friday, Feb. 23, 2024 in Mill Creek, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Mill Creek Starbucks votes 21-1 to form union

“We obviously are kind of on the high of that win,” store bargaining delegate Zach Gabelein said.

Lynnwood police respond to a collision on highway 99 at 176 street SW. (Photo provided by Lynnwood Police)
Police: Teen in stolen car flees cops, causes crash in Lynnwood

The crash blocked traffic for over an hour at 176th Street SW. The boy, 16, was arrested on felony warrants.

The view of Mountain Loop Mine out the window of a second floor classroom at Fairmount Elementary on Wednesday, Jan. 10, 2024 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
County: Everett mining yard violated order to halt work next to school

At least 10 reports accused OMA Construction of violating a stop-work order next to Fairmount Elementary. A judge will hear the case.

Imagine Children's Museum's incoming CEO, Elizabeth "Elee" Wood. (Photo provided by Imagine Children's Museum)
Imagine Children’s Museum in Everett to welcome new CEO

Nancy Johnson, who has led Imagine Children’s Museum in Everett for 25 years, will retire in June.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.