I hate it when people preach about the sacredness of family dinners. My family sits together at the dinner table seven nights a week and it hasn’t magically turned any of us into angels.
My daughter has not grown to love butternut squash because she has been exposed to it 16 times like the experts advise. I still carry an extra 3 pounds despite designing meals around organic vegetables and lean protein. Where is the dinner-time Utopia I was promised?
I am sure someday I will look back at my kids playing footsie war under the table and be amused. Or maybe I will remember saying “We eat salad with a fork!” with fondness. But that day is not today.
Today, I want to take a break from our normal dinner routine and go out to eat. Some place family friendly and not too expensive. Red Robin, Applebee’s, Buffalo Wild Wings or Olive Garden would be perfect. We pick one and tumble into the car for the short drive.
There is a buzz of excitement as we open the doors to the restaurant. Going out for dinner is a big treat and we have on our best manners. We slide into the booth wearing smiles.
Before the children’s menus are unfurled, something techie catches my kids’ attention. A digital tablet sits smack on the table with a come-hither gaze. My son and daughter are entranced.
In case the math is not clear: 1 tablet + 2 kids = a recipe for trouble.
My husband whisks the tablet aside, but it is already too late. The screen has been touched. On the left is a tiny row of nondescript icons that are free. The rest of the screen is packed with enticing premium games. One fingerprint is all it takes. We now owe $1.99.
I take a deep breath. My husband asks the waitress to remove the tablet from the table until it is time to pay. We are spending good money to enjoy dinner as a family, not fight over taking turns. Plus, there is the ick factor. Joe Blow eats French fries, wipes his mouth, touches the tablet and goes home. Five minutes later my child touches the tablet and then eats breadsticks. I have no idea when the tablet was disinfected.
As I take a sip of ice tea I reflect upon what just happened. When I was little I remember playing Pac-Man and Donkey Kong in the lobby of my favorite pizzeria. Are tablets any different? Maybe I am a troglodyte who needs to keep up with the times.
Or maybe waving a shiny new gaming device in front of a Minecraft addict is different than having an arcade game in a far-off room. Perhaps searching for quarters in mom’s purse is not the same as inadvertently charging her credit card.
When the meal is over I scribble a note to the manager: “Lose the tablets or lose my business. If I wanted to listen to my kids argue about video games, I would have stayed at home.”
Jennifer Bardsley lives in Edmonds. Her book “Genesis Girl” is scheduled to be released in 2016. Find her online on Instagram @the_ya_gal. Twitter @jennbardsley or at teachingmybabytoread.com.
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