Sweetheart deal

You say diabeteeze, I say diabuetus: The sugar and corn industries have ended a bitter dispute over the corn guys’ attempt to rebrand high-fructose corn syrup as “corn sugar” with an ad campaign that said “Your body can’t tell the difference.”

And they’re right: Coronary disease feels the same no matter what you ate too much of to bring it on.

First the government came for our drones: Owners of drones will have to register their flying devices with the U.S. government before the end of the year, if the Obama administration adopts a task force’s recommended rules.

A Trump administration would probably keep the database in place, with one change: They’d scratch out “drone” and write in “Muslim.”

Channel-surfing the vast cultural wasteland: In the 2013 movie “Free Bird,” two wisecracking cartoon turkeys travel back in time to the first Thanksgiving in a bid to change history and take their species off the holiday menu.

They could point out that turkey is bland, difficult for most home cooks to properly prepare, dries out if cooked to USDA specifications, and makes folks fall asleep during the post-prandial football game (perhaps not a bad thing if the 4-5 Seattle Seahawks are playing).

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff

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